i'm sorry to hear you are in it deep, and hope that today will not be too hard on you, it can be so dark down there i know.
About peace and calm. Such emotions you will have to cultivated inside of you, by refusing to let the bad life attacking keep hurting you, replacing it with the desire you know you want to be your life instead at that moment. E.g you feel inner turmoil, so you long for peace, and so refuse to accept the turmoil holding on you, and replacing it with your longing for peace and calm for as long as you can muster. Please do not feel hopeless when you cannot do this, simply let such times slide by, and focus on the times you can do this, or have done this in the past, longing for good again, and so to regain the ability to refuse the onslaught.
So please do not try to stop the onslaught, but rather let the onslaught go on without focusing on the misery it sprouts but how you would love it to be instead, holding onto those desires. E.g. long for the desires to have life again in your inner being such as peace, calm, rest, love, kindness, forgiveness, grace, mercy, caring sharing, joy, by practice feeling them UP AGAINST THOSE FEELINGS HURTING YOU, in side your inner world of being, until that bad life hurting you has been replaced by the good life you cultivated refusing to accept feeling bad even when you do, and keep speaking out the longings to have it otherwise.
Much love trying this down in your pit.
🤗
i found that it is what we speak out to ourselves what we want to be, we will be in the end. This is why i never give voice to my anguish any longer, in such a way that it is excused being in me, but always in such a way, that i speak good life in favour over it. And in this way love myself away from the grip bad life has on me. forgiving myself falling always returning to my desire for good life rejecting the bad life hurting me.
i found that in the end good life grows stronger than our bad life, for we value it. For when we affirm good life, rather than internalise our bad life accepting it, we rebuild ourselves completely out of our bad life.
Honest dear sufferer right from the start beginning to speak out good life against my bad life was worth it. For moment after moment seeing my longing for good slowly come alive inside and attack my bad life loving it to death right before my eyes, teaching me to do the same.
Honest truthful love is the best solution against loveless lies.
Love's blessings down there.
So placing our faith in LOVE, TRUE and GOOD, because you know LOVELESS LIES HURT HEAPS, is the guaranteed way getting rid of bad hurting us in the long run.
🌊