My Debrief Space

Hi @Blackcloud! Love the thread!

I'm with @creative_writer - finding other ND people has been life-changing for me!!

@MJG017 I was just having a chat with my peer worker over the phone the past few hours today and this was something that she asked me that I myself have never ever thought about it until she brought it up. She asked me if I know if any those psychologists/counsellors I've met are neurodivergent themselves - it never crossed my mind that way, but I've find this really interesting cause now I'm thinking, oh wow, if only I'd be able to find someone whose also ND that I can talk to, then perhaps they'd be able to understand a lot more about me and my struggles with social stuff than those professionals that aren't diagnosed with ND themselves if you get what I mean. A really interesting question and thought indeed.

@Jynx @creative_writer I get both of your points about meeting and interacting with others that are also ND. I have an online friend whose also on the spectrum, which I guess might explain her constant short responses to long paragraph texts I would sometimes write lol, as well as her leaving me on read sometimes. I told her a bit about my session with my psychologist and shes aware that psychologists/counsellors might not be fully equipped with dealing with people like us as our brains are really different.

@creative_writer so true! maybe if i can do a bit of research on psychologists that have diagnosed ND themselves in order to help me find one that can do a lot of work with clients that are also diagnosed with it. But at the same time, as seeing a psychologist is pretty expensive I'm not sure if its still worth affording for it considering my financial situation, especially if I feel like therapy isn't even for me anymore. Like why continue to afford for something you know or feel like isn't gonna be worth it for you in the long term, ya know?

@Blackcloud

I think it's part of the process as we start to question and explore why we are they way we are. We pick up little bets of advice and information that leads us to more and we start to build up a much better understanding of ourselves and people we can look for who can best support us. In this regard, it sounds like you've had a really successful day that has given you quite a few really good bits of information to think about.

just saw this thread now, really love this idea of documenting/debriefing your journey @Blackcloud the forest event sounds really interesting, keen to hear how it goes!

totally understand that those questions can get annoying! i wonder if that's the psych's way of trying to understand you better, i reckon if it keeps getting frustrating, it's definitely worth chatting to her about! proud of ya for giving it a go, and those role play situations sounds like good practice.

@rav3n I was wondering whether I should still continue with having psych sessions in general or not since I've come to realize that therapy (psychological/counselling type therapy) isnt for me overall, especially when it comes to them wanting to work on building up my social skills, because with every sessions with every professionals I've consulted throughout all these past years, its very much them giving me the same/similar type approach by them telling me to basically step out of my comfort zone and asking me these types of questions. It's like they dont fully understand how differently our brains work as ND compared to those that are not ND.

Also, I'm not a big fan of those "what's stopping you from saying no?" type questions that my current psych tends to ask me when it comes to situations I tell her regarding my mum, like....

As much as I would like to tell my current psych how I dont wish for her to go through this with me, I wonder what her response to that will be..

Anyway, I had a session with my art therapist today and I was able to tell her about my session with my psychologist from yesterday and she was very understanding on how I felt about when psychologists and counsellors asks me those types of questions and the fact that they seem like they very much want me to 'toughen it up' rather than the opposite. So I'm glad to have that session with her today. 🙂

Thank you for sharing your experience. It really resonates with me. I also had my share of terrible counselors, including one who just sat back while I was making the decision to sell my home – my security – and give the money to my stepfather. With those counselors, I definitely felt a disconnect. It was like their advice was straight out of a textbook. The bad ones, anyway.

From what I've learned since then, not that I know anything -- it seems so important to find someone who has specific experience with the challenges you're facing.

My psychotherapist has been so poor she couldn't clothe her oldest son not buy him shoes. Don't worry -- i argue and complain " Look at you now."

But iv got to admit thank goodness NDIS is paying her. I wouldn't be as I am.

But in the past - yes definately a disconnect..
But reaching out here is a brave step, and I've found it very beneficial myself.
On a slightly different note, I truly believe having a good budget is really helpful, although please don't ask me how to actually do one!
And, I hate to admit it, but yes - it sometimes feels like you understand social anxiety better than I do."

that's a fair thought to have! @Blackcloud have you looked into psych/counsellors who are ND before? i think recently i've been hearing that more professionals have lived experience, which is much better for us in terms of feeling heard and understood.

when i was looking for support around social anxiety, pretty much all the psychs n clinicians told me the say thing: exposure to social situations and practice is key. i'm definitely not a fan of it, i find it very uncomfortable throwing myself into social situations but there was a quote that made me realise that sometimes taking that scary, uncomfortable risk is what we might need for change to actually occur. i can't find the exact image but this is close enough:

at the same time, i do acknowledge that everyone is different and being ND adds additional factor to consider such as masking. it is tricky!! for some, the exposure therapies work well, and for others, it doesn't. but i think by trying this psych session, and all the other social skills training you've had - it's brought you a step closer to figuring out what works/doesn't work for you - and that's still important!

are there any other options you'd like to try out in terms of socialising? do you have particular goals around it?

aww yayyy glad your art therapist gets you!! she seems lovely. yeah the whole 'toughen up' stuff sounds quite dismissive, hopefully your psych can find other ways to support you if this one's not working out.