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FingerlimeCasual Contributor
Hi, I was wondering if anyone had a good explanation of why positive things hurt/make things worse when you're distressed.
I'm talking about things like being told "calm down" or "things will get better" or "you'll feel and think differently another day" or "think positively". No matter how true they may be or how nicely they're said, they always end up making me feel worse.
In response to: Anyone know why positive things hurt when distressed?
Unknown userMember
I compare it to being in a cold shower, after a while you adjust to the temperature and the water doesn't feel cold to you. The positive things, comforting words can be likened to warm water, to the person saying the positive things and kind words it feels warm water, but to the person in the cold shower it feels like the water is boiling hot. Making the person in the cold shower feel uncomfortable, and hurt and of course if a shower is too hot, you'll add more cold to it (feeling worse) so that you are comfortable again. Another subconscious way of cooling the water when good things are happening or being said, is feelings of suspicion and paranoia about the person saying them and feelings of not being worthy or deserving of positive things.
I read a quote recently that said about the biggest part of healing is about learning to love yourself as you are, and to allow yourself to enjoy positive things.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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