Wow, the grief is incredible

@Alice10 oh hun, absolutely legit to feel grief!! Despite what happened, it was still a significant attachment relationship, and losing someone is bound to feel very unstable and rather gut-wrenching. Sometimes making the right decision can feel like it's the exact opposite in some ways. I think it's one of those experiences that few people talk about, and so might seem like it's abnormal to still feel this attachment to the person who has done you so wrong.

Do you have some support around you, in the form of friends/family/professionals? I reckon if you haven't already hit them up, 1800RESPECT would be a good place to go to for some support and resources - they might be able to help you find some local support as well if you're looking for it.

You've done an incredibly brave thing. Congrats on blocking!! Big step. Now you're just continuing to take those steps forward, one at a time. You got this 💪😋💜

@Alice10 oh sweet, I know this feeling all too well. It's hard because you were in such a crappy situation but it was still a part of your life and losing that is such a big change. It's not an easy journey but you have made some really big steps to get to this point and you should be so proud of yourself. I know it's hard right now but we are here for you every step of the way, you are not alone. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️

Hi Alice, sending you lots of care and concern. Unfortunately, I know that feeling of grief all too well. When we fall in love and decide to share our life with that someone special we do not anticipate that that person will end up being one who abuses and hurts us. It is heartbreaking and you have my total compassion. It will get better with love, care, support and time and grief is part of the healing journey. It took me a long time to realise that it a person truly loves you they will care and support you and never wish to hurt you or see you hurting. Reach out and gather all the understanding and support you need. Life is too precious and fleeting to live with abuse in any form from anyone.

aww @Frog8 that's such a sweet message!

Just a lil tip, if you want other members to be notified that you've responded, you can tag them - use the @ symbol and a drop down will appear, and you can choose their name. If their name isn't there, you can type it out and it should then appear for you to select, then it will show up in blue, like this: @Alice10 😊

@Jynx Hi Jynx, thanks for the tip about tagging people. I wanted to reply to your main message the other day. (Yesterday was another sort of, very delicate, day for me so I didn't get to it).

First of all, thanks. The SANE community is playing a big role in my mental health at the moment. The validation, for one, and people are so kind, and so wise. What you said about attachment was so helpful to me as I felt like that gave me the right to grieve. Funny isn't it.. That's how much effect your words had. I consider myself an intelligent person, but I'm definitely not well informed about this process, and yes, I'm going to give 1800Respect a call today. Thanks again for a heartfelt and informative msg, and I hope you yourself are travelling well Jynx. I truly do. Thanks again. Alice.

Hi @Frog8 I "hearted" your post to me the other day, sorry, it's taken me awhile to properly respond - but I wanted to just say when I read your opening words about sending lots of care and concern, I really felt the care and concern.. it amazed me how genuine and heartfelt the replies were to my post, it's as if I expected (cos of what I've been through) to be ignored or told that I'm being stupid - of course, I know that wouldn't happen on SANE, but anyway, I'm trying to say thank you lol. In fact, I'm going to print out the beautiful answers to my post, and keep them handy, because it can be a tough world out there. Hey Frog, I hope if you ever need to reach out in your journey, that you tag me, or even if it's an update. I'd like to hope I can be of some support if you ever need a kind word.

Well, it's coffee time now. Peace be with you Frog, and you just go out there and "smash it out of the park" today mate. Be kind to you.. Alice. And thanks again. I got the realness so much from your words...

Hi @MissGremlin thanks for saying that I'm not alone. I really feel like the SANE friends are actually there, in a way that is so authentic and genuine. It's hard to know what to "replace" (you know what I mean) this part of my life with....but every day, largely because of yours and other SANE feedback.. I'm showing myself that I still have me, and I still have friends, and family, I'm just connecting with them in a different way now. I went to the gym yesterday and all I could do was walk fairly slowly on the treadmill lol. No weights. Just a slow walk on treadmill! And I was proud that I did what I wanted and needed to do lol. Anyway, wanted to say genuinely - thank you for your heart in responding. It was very appreciated. Love, Alice.

@Alice10 that's really true, the community here are genuine and show so much kindness and compassion. You definitely still have you and I'm glad you still have friends and family to connect with. Good on you for going to the gym, I'm glad you didn't push yourself and only did what you wanted and needed to. Be proud of yourself for everything you have done and what you have overcome, you are amazing and you are strong, you got this ❤️.

I don't know how much to share, but I (M) was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a girl when I first moved out of home. I had study, work, family in another country, very new to the adult world, and a horribly emotionally abusive girlfriend that I lived with. Long story short, ended up with depression/anxiety quite bad, time off work, insomnia etc. Saw a GP and tried antidepressant medication, it pulled me out of a hole and allowed me to gain some confidence back which had a flow on effect in all aspects of my life!