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A bomb shell dropped on me

A bomb shell dropped on me

I am very close to my eighteen year old grandaughter, she tells me just about everything. Good or bad. I know from a previous conversation with her last week that she has tried weed. But today she told me she uses more often with friends. She said she sees it as the same as smoking tobacco. She says she will never use any other drugs. She knows her dad smokes weed as well. She said her mum doesnt care if she smokes it. She said she knows i am disapointed in her as is her grandfather. Well the more she talked the more devistated i feel. I feel that it is a slippery slope down a bad path, and she just doesnt get it what ever i say. She is worried that we will disown her, which wont hapen . I really dont know how to get through to her. I am disapointed in my daughters response to this. I know she has lived with her husband smoking weed for over twenty years. But i thought she would try and get through to her daughter. My granddaughter thinks she has it all under control, and its no big deal. She also has some mental health issues which she is not recieving treatment for. I guess i cant do any more than i am doing. But i worry about her welfare. I really dont know what else to do but keep the line of communication open dispite what i feel inside. Its been a big blow.

4 replies

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In response to: A bomb shell dropped on me

Re: A bomb shell dropped on me

Hello @Chris

I understand that you are torn. There are no absolutes in choosing life paths. Many people try it for a while and then give it away. I was one of those people, who saw it in my family. Unfortunately I was caught in between a major set of fueds in my extended family regarding religion and values.

I am so impressed that 1) your grand daughter does confide in you about many aspects of her life. 2) That your loyalty to her is stronger than your opinion about taking illicit substances.

Given that she has the security of your unconditional love. She will probably be ok, given that she has a solid understanding of self respect and respect of other people.

Maybe there is a logic in her trying it as she knows some adults around her do. Try not to let it escalate into major arguments. I probably went a bit over the top and scared my children away from drink & drug taking ... which is great in some ways but .. I see some rigidities forming in their opinions that may not always be good for them in the long run .. so I try and compensate.

Take care . of you .. be honest about your position with her .. but keeping your love alive for her is the most potent approach.

In response to: A bomb shell dropped on me

Re: A bomb shell dropped on me

Hello @Chris,

It sounds like you really care about your grand daughter and I completely understand your concern for her using more and progressing further with other drugs and this also affecting her mental health. Although there seems to be more support for this behaviour in her household which is unfortunate, at the end of the day what you are doing is so very helpful and she must feel som comfortable sharing that with you.

Keep the communication flowing and doing what you are doing, that is really so helpful.

Take care of yourself too and try not to worry until you really need too,

Lunar

In response to: Re: A bomb shell dropped on me

Re: A bomb shell dropped on me

I am hoping to catch up with her next week sometime. I will keep it light. Just want to keep the lines of communication open.

In response to: Re: A bomb shell dropped on me

Re: A bomb shell dropped on me

Hi Chris,

I agree with @Appleblossom, it's a postive that she confided in you. It means that she feels safe to talk about things with you. To your point, keeping communication lines open is important so that she can feel comfortable approaching you about it. This is your opportunity to have some influence.

As Appleblossom pointed out, not everyone ends up getting addicted to 'harder drugs'. There are warning signs to look out for that drug use might be getting out of hand. These include it impacts on their work/educaitonal committments, they engage in illegal activity (e.g., driving under the influence), it starts to significanlty impact on their health (e.g., kidney issues) and they continue to use.

There's a free online counelling service for people (including carers) using drugs, which you might find useful. Just follow this link

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