Battles

Thankyou @AlwaysMyself ❤️.

How are you feeling today?

Sending virtual hugs @MissGremlin and shoulder to cry on

starting mid 1990’s I’ve lived in variety of different houses, each one having been intended to be my forever home. For different reasons, each one having been sold.

when I think of “home” I think of my maternal grandmothers home. A home that, even though adults knew there was sadness linked, as a child was always filled love, laughter and safety. Memories now mixed with sadness linked to death of my mums youngest sister and their mum, my aunt had MS and always lived in her parents home.

from start of November until mid February I have variety of trigger anniversaries

I'm doing OK today @MissGremlin . A bit of back pain, which is understandble as its been a week since my last massage (christmas break, so will be another 1-2 weeks until my next one, but i can always go to a chinese/thai one in the interim if i want abit of pain relief).

Been doing some painting. Totoro is now finished and glass varnished ready for display somewhere.

I bought a christmas tree mug from kmart for fun. It is nearly finished:

Keeping me occupied is good.

@Flutterbug9 @MissGremlin

Im not sure where "home" is for me. I guess i just see the physical location as temporary and not something i am attached to. I think because i moved a fair bit as a child. I think for me "home" is whereever the people i want to be with are. So currently its where my dogs and mum are - which is where i am right now also. Fluffly male dog is snuggled up next to me:

His fur is so long and thick, i think it is also good for wiping eyes/tears on.

..unless you are allergic to dog hair and then he would be the worse thing ever.

Thankyou @Flutterbug9, hugs back to you aswell ❤️.

That really sounds so rough sweet, i grew up in the one house until I moved out when I was about 15/16.

I know people always say to try to remember the good memories but that's hard when things get tainted.

I hear you on the trigger anniversaries, just know that we are always here for you sweet ❤️.

@AlwaysMyself just waiting for your pics to load then I will reply ❤️

@AlwaysMyself having back pain is horrible, hoping it eases for you a bit. At least there's a back-up plan if you need a bit of relief.

Well done for finishing Totoro. That Christmas mug looks awesome, you are amazing at painting 😍.

That makes sense seeing it as a physical location, I'm glad you have your mum and dogs with you.

Oh look at that beautiful fluffy goodness, there's nothing like fluffy cuddles when we are feeling emotional and have tears. He's so gorgeous 😍. Caspers licked lots of my tears away, while I try to bury my head against him. They know just what's needed in those moments.

Christmas mug looks great @AlwaysMyself

I like the way the mug was designed, quite unique

it’s good you get pain relief from massages and have alternate back up option. Due to condition of my spine I’m probably safest to see physio for massage. Something to research maybe one day as I know physio centre I attend doesn’t provide that.

what a fluffy ball. He’s gorgeous. Totally agree with our pets knowing what to do when we are struggling. My cats took turns yesterday sitting in my lap, front feet and head on my chest

following only as background info about part of my story

I lived in childhood home until I was about 16 1/2 @MissGremlin.. My mum and I moved to small unit for short few weeks prior to being moved by police (for our safety, long story) which saw my catch 2 buses one way for last few weeks of school. Lived there for few years prior to returning to childhood home, threat no longer existed. 1990’s I bought my first house which I sold about 9 yrs later (as suggested by psychiatrist) following death of my mother and full plans to end life for me and my cats. Returned to town I grew up in after buying a unit. My (now late) husband and I moved to my FILs in Jan 2020 to try to make it easier for me to care for my aged FIL and husband with terminal condition. Moved back to my unit late May 2020 (my husbands sister told me to move out of her dads home 3 wks after my hubby died). October 2023 moved into current unit which I own.

“Home” for me is the house in which I feel/felt safe, secure and where I belong. Last place that first that description was my maternal grandmothers house. Other house that comes to mind was owned by my fathers uncle and aunt in small country town near SA/vic border

I was a child of DV from about 12 yo. Have recently found out am 4th generation intergenerational trauma

@AlwaysMyself @Cuddlebear

@Flutterbug9 you sharing this helps me understand things so much better. I'm so sorry you have been through so much sweet. I honestly don't know what to say but know that we are here for you.

Sending you gentle hugs beautiful ❤️.

Hello @Cuddlebear my sweet, i packed my Christmas tree away and realised I forgot to send you a pic of gizmo while he was on it. But here he is.

Sending you love and hugs beautiful ❤️