Battles

@Chasingsunsets I'd much rather not go there. In fact seeing the tree and knowing how much things are different this year gets me really emotional. It's up and that's it, the second Christmas day is over with it will be taken down.

Thankyou for the kind words though, I do appreciate it.

Hope you enjoy your day and look forward to chatting to you later.

Oh yess apologies @MissGremlin ! I looked at the pic and saw its head and was like it’s a border collie I must ask dreamy and how good is that!! And didn’t even notice it wasn’t finished! I look forward to the next instalment dreamy and teaches me to be more mindful when I looking at things to take in the whole pic 😊. I also only logged in on my phone so images come out small, lol I’ll give myself a small out but yeah over all definitely would like to be more mindful and take more time with looking at stuff 😀

@Chasingsunsets even when I look at it it's hard to tell cos it has plastic on it to cover the sticky part so it reflects and makes it look like it's complete so it's all good.

Fair @MissGremlin, I also look forward to speaking later 🫶

re your Dimond art I’ll have to say at the moment the head looks the best though 😂.

How are you feeling today @MissGremlin? 🥰

Hello @AuntGlow, right now I'm feeling very anxious and emotional hence I have a puppy right in my face with his toy, as if he's saying mum it's ok I'm here. I've been having alot of very dark thoughts today (I'm safe). I had a doctors appointment earlier today and now my doctor is going to be away for 2 weeks which I'm so worried about. But the first appointment when he's back is a double one so we can do a mental health care plan. I have appointments every 2 weeks booked all the way through into March. But right now (and my doctor knows it) I'm worried about how I'm going to get through the Christmas period.

How are you going?

Thank you for sharing this with me. @MissGremlin 💛

I completely understand why this would be overwhelming... what has he said to support you?

And a mental health care plan sounds like a wonderful idea!

I get why Christmas would feel extra vulnerable. Let's look at everything you currently have access to support-wise, from the forums to colouring in - what do you have to call upon?

I am doing well, I had my last uni class of the year today and my lecturer said I am actually doing well, which was reassuring. She also mentioned that to be a good therapist, I don't need to get an A, which was also reassuring haha

@AuntGlow he didn't really say anything. Just that we'll do the mental health care plan at the next appointment when he's back.

Support-wise I only have the forums and Casper. My colouring is hit and miss at the moment cos it's partly a trigger.

Glad to hear you are doing well. Hearing that from the lecturer definitely would have felt reassuring and it's good to know that you don't need to get an A to be a good therapist lol.

I'm struggling to stay focused at the moment as I'm going in and out of like visions. It's like one minute I'm here and then the next I'm somewhere else seeing something happen or doing something to myself. I'm safe and I'm sitting in my bed with Casper nearby but it's just scary. I told my doctor about all these things that have been happening but all he did was typed it into his computer.

Okay, in this case, how could you use the forums to your best advantage right now? Is there anything you could create, share, or support others with, which might help you to feel connected or more grounded tonight? I know this is so incredibly painful and scary for you, and I don't want to dismiss this at all. I am just trying to think about what might be helpful (I hope that makes sense). @MissGremlin 🫶

And having him simply type your symptoms up wouldn't have helped you to feel heard at all. I'm so sorry that he responded in this way. 😔

@AuntGlow I wanted to share another sock picture but I've struggled to focus on making a post. I'm afraid that I've upset a few people here cos yesterday I went into avoidance when people asked me how I was going, I just physically couldn't answer. Then earlier today a couple of quotes triggered me and I had to step back. It does make sense but I'm not quite sure what would be helpful right now. I was already having a hard time here and then there was a massive fireworks display that I didn't know about plus a helicopter going over at the same time so I'm feeling very on edge at the moment. I've turned my light off and gotten under my blankets, just trying to bring a sense of safety back i guess.

It felt very dismissing and invalidating. Like it took so much courage to open up about what's been happening and i just expected a different response or a response at all really.