Battles

@MissGremlin they do that's for sure.

Still feeling okay?

@NightFury okayish. Hard to know what symptoms are anxiety related or related to the other side of things, but I'm just keeping a close eye on things. Kind of having idiots setting off massive fireworks at the moment which is rather frustrating.

@MissGremlin I totally understand that feeling of trying to decipher whether something is anxiety related or if it's something to be worried about medically.

I'm heading to bed to try and get some rest, but if you notice anything getting worse, please get it seen too.

@NightFury it can be so frustrating. I will make sure if I'm worried to get checked out.

I hope you get some sleep sweet. Night night ❤️

Checking in @MissGremlin to see how you fared last night?

Morning @NightFury, it was an incredibly rough night. Woken up this morning feeling very out of it, sort of just keep fading in and out. Think today is very much just going to be a rest day and trying to be gentle with myself. I've managed to bring up alot of feelings and emotions cos of what happened, I know it was accidental but it still hurts and I feel like I've lost all trust in myself. So today i have to try to remind myself that it's ok and that mistakes happen. Brain just likes to go to that thinking of 'you've failed just like i knew you would, you're useless, you're always messing up, you're stupid and pathetic'. You know how it goes. All those negative thoughts we have to try to challenge in order to change that thought process and allow the positive thoughts in. It's exhausting and such a hard task when one isn't feeling well both physically and mentally. But moment by moment, step by step, breath by breath, it's gotta get easier sometime right?

So here's today's reminder, take each moment, step and breath as it comes, accept that mistakes happen and it doesn't mean you've completely failed, have patience with yourself, things take time and healing can be a messy process and most importantly be kind and gentle with yourself ❤️

How was your night?

@MissGremlin aaw hun, big hugs to you. Give yourself space to rest. It sounds as if your body needs it.

I get that feeling of feeling like you've failed and the thought processes that come with that. I've been through something similar this week, so I can totally relate.

It has to get better! Just hold onto that for now.

I slept from about 11 - 2 am, then woke and had to deal with the same urges and feelings I had before I went to sleep. Got through it and managed to go back to sleep. I was woken up by a message from my brother at 6.30 am. I've had my niece here with me from 8 am.

We've had lots of tantrums...I said no to her eating chips at 9 am...tantrum...then she wanted her dummy and I said no...another tantrum...which I then gave her chips and her dummy. We're currently sitting watching Mickey, wrapped up in a blanket because it's freezing here.

Thanks @NightFury ❤️

That thought process is so tough and exhausting, i hate that it constantly comes up time and time again.

Trying to hold onto that tiny bit of hope, just feel like it's slipping away at times.

Sounds like a bit of a rough night but well done for getting through it sweet.

I hope having your niece there is a good distraction. Little ones and their tantrums can be so hard to manage, so many big emotions and they are still learning how to express them. Snuggled up watching mickey sounds like a good way to keep nice and warm and relax together. What time do you have her until?

@MissGremlin Well done to you too on getting through what sounds like an incredibly tough night.

I don't know what time today. Sometime after 2...I think. I want to take her to the park, but at the moment, it's 2 degrees and foggy, so just waiting for the weather to clear and she's tired and cuddly, so she may fall asleep before we get there. All she wants to do is sit on my knee and cuddle...I got up to let Luna in just now and she threw a tantrum.

@NightFury thankyou ❤️.

Awww it sounds like she is tired and just wants to be close to you. Maybe she will have a nap and then you can head to the park once the weather clears up a bit.