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No one actually cares

jayegrayNew Contributor09 Feb 2017, 12:12 am AEDT

No one actually cares

I have been suffering with mental illness since I was 17, I am currently 27. After years and years of trying to get help and after seeing several psychologists/psychiatrists nothing has changed. After trying every medication available and continuing to get worse every week I am now currently living at home with my parents, miserable, socially isolated, broke, praying every morning I don't wake up having to live this repeating nightmare that is my life. I've recently moved and my new doctor doesn't know any decent psychologists and my last psychologist said she couldn't help me and refused to give me a formal diagnosis so I don't qualify for centrelink payments. I have been met with so much resistance is disgraceful how little empathy anyone shows me unless I pay them.
I am sitting in my room right now with no where to turn and no one willing to help me. It takes so much effort for me to reach out for help and when I do no one takes me serious.

3 replies

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In response to: No one actually cares

AlgebraicFurySenior Contributor09 Feb 2017, 2:24 am AEDT

Re: No one actually cares

Hi @jayegray, I'm sorry to hear that things are not so good for you at the moment. I can relate to your experiences with the mental health system. For around 25 years I lived with undiagnosed type 2 bipolar disorder, despite seeking help from doctors beginning at about age 15. During those 25 years I was prescribed antidepressants which at best did nothing and sometimes made me much worse. It wasn't until I was hospitalised and subsequently correctly diagnosed that I was given medication which really helped. You said that you have been on medication. Does that mean that a doctor has diagnosed you with a particular mental illness, or were they just trying things to see what would happen?

Psychological therapy did not help me at all until I was on the right medication (and it was over a year until I felt the full effect of the medication). Similar to you, I also felt, and still feel, that one has to pay for empathy. I have experienced only a couple of health professionals who seemed to have genuine empathy.

It is so frustrating that people, including health professionals, usually don't take mental illness seriously. I once went to a doctor and explained that I was depressed and had no idea why. The doctor asked me whether I'd ever read any philosophy, and then dismissed my depression saying that the mind is very complex (as I would know from reading philosophy). In hindsight I think that one reason why my diagnosis took so long was that I tended to appear okay even when I was extremely distressed. I had a lot of trouble communicating my distress for some reason. Maybe because it seemed so discordant with my actual life, which wasn't that bad.

I have also been in your situation with respect to returning home to live with my parents, being unemployed, having no money and no social contacts. It was an extremely miserable period of my life so I can understand that you feel that way. However, this situation will change and things will improve.

Unfortunately it can be very difficult to receive a correct diagnosis. It is frustrating and leaves one feeling hopeless. The only suggestion that I can offer is to keep persisting in your pursuit of correct treatment. Eventually you will get there and life will be much better. No matter how bad things may seem now, try to remember that everything is transient including what you are going through now.

Anyway, it's time I get some sleep.

All the best, AF

In response to: No one actually cares

SaharaSenior Contributor09 Feb 2017, 8:01 am AEDT

Re: No one actually cares

Hi @jayegray,

I think it's kind of great that you have your parents to look after you... so try and see it as a good thing, rather than as a bad thing, being back at home.

The fact that your new doctor doesn't know any decent psychologists sounds a bit lame to me. A doctor has an obligation to ring around and speak to other doctors and find a good psychologist for you. There must be someone, somewhere? I would try a new doctor, since this one is so unhelpful.

Ask the doctor to refer you to someone who can give you a diagnosis. You need a diagnosis for Centerlink. Make sure you are very clear about this. Take you Mum to the appointment with you, if need be. Or take along any other supportive person that you have. Maybe write down exactly what you need so as you don't forget to ask for it.

The medical profession are extremely over-burdened with work in many cases. Still, they have an obligation to help you... if you don't get any help.... maybe say that you'd rather not pay the bill!! That will get some action.... no doctor wants that kind of hassle. They would rather just give you what you are asking for.

The question of empathy is a difficult one...

When I was seriously ill with depression, I honestly don't know if I got empathy or not. I was too sick to be able to tell, really. What I did get was a whole lot of pills, which eventually did work. I saw a psychiatrist. I never got a diagnosis as such, but then, I never asked for one, either.

The counselling I had seemed empathetic at the time... I mean, they are doing a job and if they can't even show a bit of empathy, then they are in the wrong job, aren't they? With or without empathy, the counselling raised some really important questions for me. It was challenging. I had to do a lot of soul-searching... it took a long time.

In response to: No one actually cares

Unknown userMember09 Feb 2017, 11:45 am AEDT

Re: No one actually cares

Hello @jayegray,

Welcome to the forums from myself I hope you find soem support and care on the forums we are here for you 🙂

I'm sorry you have been struggling on your own for such a long time and feeling like there is no help, that must be exhausting and no wonder it's hard for you to reach out for help, it's great you have done that on the forums, well done.

You mentioned that you have been unable to get diagnosis, and struggling to find a psychologist. I am just wondering whether you have tried searching for one who specialises with your symptoms using the Australian Psychlogical Society website, you can type in your area and symptoms and up wil come details of Psychologists in your area, you might want to get in contact with them to find one that may be able to provide with support:

Australian Psychological Society - Find A Psychologist

http://www.psychology.org.au/FaP/

You could also seek some community support if you feel isolated and unmotivated through support groups on the Grow Website, you can connect with others and see how they cope as well as share with others:

Grow

1800 558 268

http://www.grow.org.au/join-a-grow-group/

Also, self-care can be really helpful to get that control and motivation back, are there things that you like to do such as hobbies or interests that help you to feel more motivated and give your mind a bit of a break at all?

Look forward to getting to know you better,

Lunar

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