Why my life is so hard

Hello @bolero and welcome to the forums. Thankyou for sharing your feelings, it takes alot of strength to open up. I can hear how much you are struggling and feeling like things are too difficult. I too struggle to look into mirrors as I hate to see the person staring back at me.

Have you considered talking to a GP to get some referrals to speak to a counsellor/psychologist? It might help to unpack your feelings and learn how to manage things so that you can enjoy the things you used to.

It's great that you do have some ways to escape the pain even if it is only temporary. You have shown such strength in reaching out for support and you should be proud of yourself for that. I hear that it's a battle to get through each day but you are doing it and you are trying to find reasons to keep going even when things are so hard.

You are not alone and we are here to support you however we can. Be gentle with yourself, life is hard and we all deserve to treat ourselves with kindness ❤️.

Hi @bolero, welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry that you are struggling so much at the moment and it seems like you have a lot to deal with. Those insecurities can eat away at us until it feels overwhelming. You're certainly not alone in these feelings though. It says a lot about you that you continue to do your best to be the best you can for people, even when that effort doesn't seem to be reciprocated as you deserve. There could be many reasons. Sometimes, if we're very guarded with our thoughts and feelings, it that other people think were perfectly fine and think that there is no issue. And one may be that they just don't see or value how much you try and how much effort you put it. So it may be then that you could find people who will value that effort. Those people though are likely not to require that effort from you though because they will like you just as you are. I like to think that if any relationship between two people is uneven, then the person wondering what they're doing wrong is usually not the one doing something wrong.

I've experience this a lot in my life as well and it's so tough. And those doubts and insecurities build until the only possible answer seems to be ourselves. But you're trying so hard to work out why, and that means something. Do others put anywhere near that same effort into trying to be the best they can for you? That means something also.

Those escapes can be so helpful to just get a short break from everything and just give yourself a little 'recharge'. It's so important while we try to figure things out and try to start getting some wins. Some days just to get through the day is a win, and you're doing that.

Hi @bolero I think you have come to the right place.

There will be many people on this forum that can understand where you are coming from.

The forums are a friendly and supportive place and many people here have or do feel that they are trying hard but it’s not enough.

Clearly you are a resilient and strong person because you have kept trying to find ways of feeling differently. But you know what you are enough.

You obviously are a person who gives your best.

It’s great that you recognise the need for and engage in self-care of TV and movies. Actually visualisation is a pretty advanced skill.

I hope you find support and understanding here on the forums.

I have found the forums supportive and have learnt so much from the others on here.

Hey @Till23 @MJG017 @Former-Member ,

Please see @bolero 's responses to you 🙂

@bolero , feel free to tag members so they receive a notification of your posts. You do this by typing "@" in front of their username e.g. @bolero

@bolero I'm glad you are seeing a counsellor. Just keep taking things one step at a time and things will get better.

We are always here for you 😊.