Life can be a Pain

Hey @Former-Member

I so needed to read this thank you.

My mum is ( diagnosed ) narc. Borderline and unfortunately does not work on herself.With her makeup she has spread trauma with my brother's and me and I'm the only one who went to therapy however they did self therapy with their partners.

I don't care about the past but I am certainly feeling a bit weird - lifelong thing I guess.

My brother and I have cleared up a few things. He speaks negatively about my youngest brother......that's so sad.

hey there @PeppyPatti 🌺💜🙂

no worries 🙂💜

family dynamics are really hard, aren’t they.. even when there aren’t MH considerations, but with MH in included, things can be particularly challenging 💜

one thing that stands out here is that you’ve put the work in to help yourself, and even though stuff still can be painful and not comfortable, you still have the tools, knowledge and resilience from seeking that support and doing all the reflection included in therapy 🙂💜

Even though it might not seem so, there may even be parts of your coping that are seen by your relatives around you and it may be a strength to them, too 🌺🙂

it’s not easy, and sometimes the hardest thing is the impact of our family members’ actions. However, please do keep in mind that you have value ☺️🌺

I have lived with behaviours that have been difficult from parents and other adults when I was young, and so I have some understanding of what it’s like to come out from under how that can feel.. lots of compassion for you dearest 💜🙂🌺

take good care and go gently 🤗🌺💜

Hi @PeppyPatti

I so do understand how it is with a difficult mother - whatever it is - I found it so tough myself

It went on for my whole life until she died - and I had therapy - so I have the good news amid all the rotten parts

It's their loss. I think we are all better people when we do seek help and implement what we learn - the world is a better place for our growth and what we share.

And siblings - I totally ignore mine though I know they suffered too - having toxic relationships works better when we maintain distance and learn to enjoy ourselves.

It's really hard though - the process of coming to terms. I'm sorry you have to live through this - you have had therapy - the helpful process your mother denies herself.

Great that you do @PeppyPatti

Owlunar

Very cold here today too @Owlunar2 ❄️

Hi @Zoe7 @Shaz51

We have had some interesting weather in Melbourne recently - some glorious days with icy mornings - some bleak and gloomies - I don't like those - and some rain.

Last week I got enthusiastic about my garden - I got some pots, potting mix and some winter greens from Bunnings - my gardener is going to set them tomorrow - they look very healthy atm - I guess they know they have a good home here as long as I don't try and plant them.

Lots of love

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

Had to giggle at you 'not planting your plants' @Owlunar2 Hopefully the gardener planted them for you and they are surviving.

Hi @Zoe7

I am no gardener - that's true - I have a brown elbow - I think this is a point of despair for my daughter who is a horticultural expert by profession

But my plants are doing well - it seems they appreciate being in larger pots in the open rather than all jammed together in a punnet

I have some friendly magpies coming around knowing I will give them a small amount of lean mince - I love their song - I have to laugh when I open. my front door and find them waiting for me

I hope you are well Zoe

Hugs

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

Hi @Zoe7 @Shaz51

It's a cold, dark, cloudy morning in Melbourne - 7 C and feels like 4c - shiver

It should be sunny and warmer later

I do not enjoy winter - and this is an understatement

Best of luck weatherwise wherever everyone else is

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

Much the same here weather wise @Owlunar2 and like you, I do not like the cold.

We have some wattle birds that visit ...and bring their babies so it is really lovely. Toby and Clover do not seem to worry them but any other birds they chase. It is like they know the wattle birds are special because they keep coming back.

That reminds me of a funny story @Zoe7

Years ago we had wattle birds nesting in a large spiky lemon tree - they would often swoop my son's cat - Candy

One day Candy had enough - I watched her climbing carefully through the spikes in the lemon tree until she reached the nest and relieved herself there

Gotta laugh - they stopped swooping her though - clever cat.

My MIL didn't think it was funny

Still laughing

Mumma Bear

Owlunar