Life can be a Pain

morning mumma bear @Owlunar 😍

Hi everyone

I have had some technical issues - you know when all sorts of things go wrong at once -

The short story is somehow I was locked out of the forum but with the help of the moderators I have found my way back.

Life hasn't been easy - I will get to that later - I will try and get my picture back too - that has been important to me for a long time

Sending hugs all round

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

Sorry to hear life hasn't been easy @Owlunar2

Hugs to you from another Mama Bear (that's what my kids call me lol).

x

Ohhh hugs my 2 mumma bears @Owlunar2 , @hanami 🥰

Heeeyyy @Shaz51

How are you? 💞

Hi @hanami @Shaz51 @Oaktree @Appleblossom @Kyle @Meowmy

Yes - it's good to be back - I do have something to share that has been making me very unhappy - something I can and will deal with.

For a couple of years now my daughter has been criticizing me - I have tried to be patient and explaining things to her - this has been pretty destructive for me - and I have given up.

Finally I told her that I felt invalidated - and no - I have not told her what she has said that has discouraged me - I believe we can think whatever we want to about other people - and it is polite to keep this to ourselves - so why tell her?

All day I have felt as gloomy as Melbourne weather - I will survive it - I think the hard part is that I have - in the past - forgiven her and I also have been dishonest - not telling her how I feel - though any effort to do so was pretty useless.

So - she sees it as an ultimatum. She is allowed to - after all - I do tend to give other people the last word and she hung up on me with that word - the conversation was about 4 minutes - hardly worth the effort - darn.

We were drifting apart - this would have just become more disastrous - I had to say something and it's up to her.

I told her several times that I love her - she did not respond to this - it's a strange thing to me that she wants her millions of privacies - I am not allowed to have one. Actually - I have a lot of secrets she knows nothing about.

It's hard for me to write about the tough parts of my life - right now - I need to.

I will be okay - I will sit this out and time does part. I told her my door is not closed to her. I don't think she heard that.

It has been tough sorting out my tech issues which have been in my DVR as well as my computer - I am sorting out the issues in my life - I feel really tired though.

Thanks everyone

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

@Owlunar2 hope things get better for you. Take care

Hey there @Owlunar2 ,

I hear you.

I've been on the 'other' side. I'm not sure if I have shared before, but I cut ties with family for many years. Not because I didn't like them, but I needed space to heal.

This may be totally different to your situation, but I'm so glad my parents were always there. They didn't nag me. They were just 'there' and that was enough. I knew they loved me (even if they didn't say it or show it).

When I was ready, I re-connected with them and we a much better relationship.

The main thing is that I knew they were there for me. Maybe this is what will help your daughter return - when she's ready?

Thanks @Meowmy

I just have to give her time - and knowing her - that could be a long time.

I will feel better though - I know enough to give myself time to grieve - I spoke to her on Monday - she does have her own problems - I do understand

We all need to maintain our own boundaries - and our self-esteem - these are things I rely on.

Owlunar

Thanks @tyme - I agree.

My parents were not there for me - my Dad got over it - we were on good terms at the end of his life - which was a great comfort for me - it still is.

My mother never did - and that was her choice - it's a pity that.

But - most importantly - I have learned though all of that - I am definitely there for my daughter - she has a few things to learn though.

It's marvelous what I have learned through my long life - this truth - people do not learn something if they are not listening - we can hope something gets though the silence.

And I have learned that silence might be golden - but the truth is beyond value I am okay though.

I am glad your family was there for you - that is fantastic to hear

Owlunar