Life can be a Pain

since on this new medication for reflux i haven't had the pain when eating or drinking -- that is great news @BlueBay , yes i will have to cut out a couple of coffee

Hi @Anastasia @greenpea @Emelia8 @Zoe7 @BlueBay @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @outlander

Aw - before I get down to more important issues I feel the need to have a gripe

I do not want to hear anything - ANYTHING - from my toxic sister - but let enough time pass and she will find something to con tact me about. I have read her letter and the official documents she has sent me and I am frankly annoyed that she has and wonder why she felt the need to send them. Someone has made a mistake and she disowns it - but why send to me?

This subject has gone on and on for years - and it was in 2016 I decided she had gone too far and I wanted nothing more to do with her - I should tell her - there's that word again - "should" - the only times I have seen her in the last nearly 5 years were at a funeral and a family birthday - hardly the occasions to bring up the statement that I need her to keep out of my life and my affairs

I think I will sent her a text and ask what she wants to do about it - it seems to me there is nothing that can be done -

That's enough about that - maybe I can settle down and be useful here now I have said my piece

Dec

Tags ddn't work @Owlunar

Maybe ignoring your sister is the best way forward Dec. She cannot expect you to be there for her when it is good for her but nothing at any other time. If you do need to send her a text then make it clear how you feel and if she wants a relationship with you then it has to be based on mutual respect and not just seeing you as someone to 'fix' her issues.

Thanks for letting me know about the tags @Zoe7 and also for your comments

I think I will ignore my sister - I don't understand her and I don't like her - after I wrote my gripe and just sat and stared out of the window - my mind went blank - and my head started to ache

Years go by without my sister or I contacting each other and she has moved up-country to Central Victoria by now - and yes - she eventually contacts me and there is nothing there for me at all - I never contact her and even at the family birthday party I was busy catching up with old friends and not her but she eventually had to speak to me and it was a fruitless encounter

Actually - I can see there is nothing to be done about the issue - maybe she wants me to confirm that for her - let her off the hook - and I am not about to do that.

Thanks again Zoe - I think I should take a walk around the block in the fresh air. I don't need my sister but sheesh - she really does blunder about my garden of precious thoughts in her muddy boots - not that I would ever let her know that

Dec

@Owlunar It is so hard when family not only continue to disappoint us but also only contact us when they want something. You my friend deserve more Ihope the walk helps a little. Hugs and hugs and hugs

Hugs my @Owlunar ❤❤❤

Sounds like my cousin at the moment xxx

Hi @Shaz51 - there are times when we can do without certain people - we can learn to tolerate them when they are around and ignore them when they are not

And yes @Zoe7 - a walk in the fresh air - smelling the damp earth in people's gardens was settling and pleasant - I obviously don't need my sister but there are times when I am sorry about that - but she is who she is and I don't need her cluttering up my life - when I get the chance I will tell her.

Thanks ladies

Dec

Hello @Owlunar sorry I missed your message until now...ahhh family, I hear you. I am sorry to learn of the difficulties with your sister. I always wanted a sister but since "growing up" I have learned that sisters don't mean it's going to guarantee a fruitful relationship. I have sisters here now, you being one of them and I am truly blessed and grateful. So eventually it happened 🙏

You managed the situation so well by taking time out, a walk, good on you Dec.

I think of you often, your resilience and courage. I wonder how you have managed to come out the other end of your loss as you have. I have so much admiration for you Dec. I'd love nothing more than a chin wag and a cuppa in the sun with you. I'm scared, scared I will lose my boy, not sure how I'll carry on. I'll have to, I have my other boy to consider as you did/do your daughter. Feeling really vulnerable today Dec, on high alert for something "bad" to happen. Guess it's because my boy may come home next week, my health and just the sadness of life in general. Take care Dec, I don't have any new owl pics, I'll have to look but for now this little guy is cute 🦉💕

Here's a couple that I thought were a bit special for you @Owlunar 💞

Hugs @Anastasia

Resilience develops as we encounter tough issues in life and learn that we have overcome them in the past and this trait grows - it's not easy though.

About our sons - yes - you might lose yours - that's true of everyone - I read somewhere that our children are hostages of fate - it's a painful truth. It is so hard rearing a troubled child. It seems nothing goes right for some people - and with children - teenagers - I don't they perceive they cause a lot of their troubles for themselves. Some of them don't grow past it - some of them can't grow past it.

And as their mothers we suffer -

I don't know where resilience starts - I think in childhood - mine was interesting but in my adult life I have wondered why my parents had more than one child - that would be me. Perhaps they had no choice - sometimes kids just arrive - or they did then. I was so thrilled when my parents told us they were having another child - my brother and I were at school - and I was thrilled when the baby was a girl but I learned. The Baby Boomer reality - life was easier after the war and my sister was spoiled and even in childhood she made life hard for me and in adult life she betrayed me - being betrayed is so hard Anastasia - it had to stop and yet every so often my sister pecks to get back into my life and I am not having anymore - I can hardly believe she is 70 in a few weeks and she still behaves the way she does. Enough said

I understand about feeling tense about your son coming home next week. A feeling of impending doom - I understand that. I would jump when the phone rang - so often it was the police or someone hardly able to wait to tell me what my son was up to - and what could I do about it? - if I went out to find him he would be doing something else. It is so hard - and you can only go from day to day with this - face the bad moments while you feel as if you need to walk on water and bless the days that pass with only a few ruffles on that same water. I do know - I live with the shadows in my past but they no longer disturb me. I don't know how you cope with it going on today -

But I do know - yes - I do.

But what can I say to make it easier? You are living on the edge and I know that only too well

My best thoughts Anastasia - sending my courage somehow - maybe I can find a courageous owl

Dec

I have learned a lot by just watching the world