Life can be a Pain

Thanks @Zoe7 @outlander @BlueBay @utopia

I've got my fingers crossed for my daughter too - she's still waiting for results-she really feels as if she has a bad cold

I had a magic needle into my arm late yesterday - it was brilliant for several hours but I think I overdid the physio - that was trial 1 - the physio was hard to please - never mind- he has years to learn some people are competitive - he's a nice young man though

I'm not very hungry but they have great sandwiches at this hospital

Dec

Hi @Owlunar Just checking in on you Hon. How is the pain today? 🦉💖

Thanks @Zoe7

It's a bit hard to tell because I keep doing the exercises but I think it is improving - one thing that really seems to help are the local anaesethic patches

I rang a friend who has had a hip replacement and it was good to chat with someone who had joint replacement - it's a different operation but has similarities

I guess your school holidays are over by now - I really hope it all goes well for you

Dec

No one more week here @Owlunar

It is a big decision to make whatever way you go Dec but you will know what is right for you

Hi @Zoe7 @outlander @BlueBay @utopia

I came home from hospital on Monday and I'm not very well and also - I have no desire to go back to hospital - I was not getting better there - I had been there long enough

The medication stops the pain but I feel so dizzy and light headed it's uncomfortable - I told everyone at the hospital this - the specialist as well - and I really wanted to leave

I had a helper here today - she was concerned enough to ring her agency and I had her constantly asking if I was all right - she did work here and she was doing something in the kitchen - and actually cooked my food which I tasted - I do not eat food like that - I can't eat food like that - and my stomach is really upset

I'm having a procedure to relieve the pain in my shoulder in a couple of weeks - hopefully - and this should make a huge difference.

I am a really independent person and when people give me choices I can make them - but there will always be those people who feel honour bound to give senior cits orders and I have had enough - and asked if I would rather have someone caring for me was better than being alone - I really knew - having this person cook a meal I could never eat - I would rather be alone

Tomorrow is the anniversary of my son's death - well and truly years passed 30th anniversary - and although I no longer feel that terrible despair I used to feel I still have a heavy hearts and it is a nightmare I would not like anyone else to have - luckily - there are plenty of people who already do

It's bleak - I know this time will pass but about the procedure for my shoulder - with the more severe lock-down threatened I don't feel sure about having elective surgery - and this is really hard on those of us who have kept to the guidelines

I am bone tired and it has to be nearly time to take that medication - I can't eat more than a snack - my appetite will come back

I have had plenty of time to consider my options though - I do not need a minder and I can make up my own mind about what I will and won't do and I do inform myself

In a word - I am miserable - and that's okay - I will survive it

Dec

Sitting right with you then @Owlunar and sending you a whole heap of love and some gentle hugs. Tomorrow will not be easy - anniversaries never are - but hold onto those good memories you have of your son and know he is not in any pain anymore

Oh @Owlunar

here for you Dec

snd I know tomorrow will be a hard emotional time for you. I really feel for you.
hugs snd love to you

take care

I will be thinking of you ❤️❤️

Hi @BlueBay @outlander @Zoe7

Thanks for your messages -

I went to sleep in my chair in front of the TV again last night and I think I slept better - and physically I feel a bit better today - bad morning though - and I want to run my own life but little things seem like - wow - enough is enough - I am over so many things people want, expect, need, demand - as if the world is made up of people demanding I do something straight away and as I try I am confounded by wait-and-hurry-up and I don't want to explain -

I am really tired - and I do feel real anger against any efforts to take my independence - I will hang onto that fiercely - it's too long a story to tell but I would rather be alone at home

It's only a feeling and feelings are valid but not sound - which means that I am allowed to feel what I feel but it's not always the truth

After months of it and everyone feels the same way about it the lock down is really getting to me. It's strange that I have recorded movies on TV before the coronavirus hit and life and the advertising have people walking around doing whatever and this has been taken away from us

The pain in my soul is different - hopefully I will have the procedure and the pain will pass - spring will come - the days are already getting longer and this morning the starry sky was full of planets - it was beautiful. The crescent moon was there in the east too.it will pass and the spring will come - and the coronavirus still has to runs it's course and I hope I can have the procedure in two weeks -

To me - although it's necessary - the lock-down is harsh - and going into stage four - unreasonable - those who break the restrictions will most like go on doing it and the rest of us will continue to comply - and it's okay to be angry -

It's okay - I will always be okay -

Thanks

Dec

Hi @BlueBay @outlander @Zoe7

Thanks for your messages -

I went to sleep in my chair in front of the TV again last night and I think I slept better - and physically I feel a bit better today - bad morning though - and I want to run my own life but little things seem like - wow - enough is enough - I am over so many things people want, expect, need, demand - as if the world is made up of people demanding I do something straight away and as I try I am confounded by wait-and-hurry-up and I don't want to explain -

I am really tired - and I do feel real anger against any efforts to take my independence - I will hang onto that fiercely - it's too long a story to tell but I would rather be alone at home

It's only a feeling and feelings are valid but not sound - which means that I am allowed to feel what I feel but it's not always the truth

After months of it and everyone feels the same way about it the lock down is really getting to me. It's strange that I have recorded movies on TV before the coronavirus hit and life and the advertising have people walking around doing whatever and this has been taken away from us

I know the lock-down is necessary but to me it seems

The pain in my soul is different - hopefully I will have the procedure and the pain will pass - spring will come - the days are already getting longer and this morning the starry sky was full of planets - it was beautiful. The crescent moon was there in the east too.it will pass and the spring will come - and the coronavirus still has to runs it's course and I hope I can have the procedure in two weeks -

To me - although it's necessary - the lock-down is harsh - and going into stage four - unreasonable - those who break the restrictions will most like go on doing it and the rest of us will continue to comply - and it's okay to be angry -

Ah - that medication is starting to work - I should settle down

It's okay - I will always be okay -

Thanks

Dec