Life can be a Pain

Thanks @Appleblossom

I feel a positive and life-giving force in the forum - there are people like yourself and me too of course - and we bring our strength here and share it - and like lighting candles the light grows from such a source and does not diminish.

And irl I do have broad shoulders - figuratively and literally - they can take a lot provided I care for myself

Dec

It's a wonderful day to share

I agree @Owlunar So much of what we can actually do can be appreciated more - it is a different world for so many right now. I personally am not feeling the impact so far as my life has not changed much - although I have less kids I am still teaching those that turn up and the rest of the time I usually spend at home anyway. The greatest impact foe me has been the lack of things on shelves at the supermarket so have had to go further to get things needed ...that is life tright now though.

Of course @Zoe7

Life is totally different right now and not easy but definitely a challenge

It's taking time to catch up with everything after been away for a few weeks - however I did read your comment on Thinking about our Teachers - and yes - you are in the front line as a teacher. You have been chucked into the deep end after having time out for health reasons for some time - and then a quiet year to get back into it - and bingo - the big test - caring for and educating children v educating and caring for children - a small change in word order means so much more than it would have a few weeks ago

Actually - my daughter was an easy child - but I would tell both my children if they thought they needed a play-day - "The State provides excellent child-minding faciities and you are attending and you might as well avail yourself of the education they are providing"

But this was a joke at the time and I was telling my son "This is your life so get on with it" .

So - my point - Things have changed so radically - I know the children of Health Care Workers and other essential workers need to have SOMEONE care for their children during the day. While we need to have our children educated people do

use that time to work ordinarily.- now teachers are under the pump - they are still teaching true but they are also caring for the children of people in essential industries so this is confusing.

I walked part of the way to the doctor yesterday - then caught a bus and I was the only passenger - where were all those children? Not at school certainly

I seem to be rambling here - I am supportive for you with your own health issues and wanting to work but exposing yourself to a new virus daily.

And there is the uncertainty - what will happen after the school holidays and another question - what do people do with their children during school holidays normally?

I wish I could explain myself better - I can see the problems and I feel like I am wading through waist-deep purple jelly

I hear you - I was a private tutor for years and thinking back - I would be sitting with my head right next to a teenager all that time and there could be problems - but COVID-19 was not one of them

All the best Zoe - I will be thinking of you and praying you are not exposed and your health is okay

Dec

There are so many contradictions in what we are told to do and what the reality is in schools @Owlunar It is impossible to keep a distance from the kids - especially the younger ones. It is also impossible to keep them apart in the playground. The government instructions continue to be that schools are safe (here in Tassie anyway) but they are now recommending that if children can stay home then they should. Mixed messages indeed - either close the schools or keep them open - one or the other so everyone is on the same page. The Health dept recommendations have not changed - they still say schools are safe but with everything closing apart from essential services I do not know how they can justfy that. Personally I am more than happy to teach the kids I have and would be the first to volunteer to continue to do that for those families in health and other essential services - but it should be a teacher's choice to do that - especially for those with families of their own to look after. It is a crazy new world we live in but together we can get through it.

Hi again @Zoe7

You said that so well - I understand - and how can the Government say with any conviction that the schools are safe? And to confuse us all further saying that if children can stay home then they should.

D'uh

It's impossible to keep kids apart - just watch how fast head-lice spread - and then we all feel itchy. And I remember when I was teaching CRE in schools the kids all wanted to sit near me - I was popular - like you I just love teaching. I loved sitting on a small chair with my visual aids with little kids falling all over each other to take a turn putting a picture on my story board. Now and again one of them would hold out a bloody little tooth for me to mind - I directed the child to give it to the teacher.

I just really enjoyed writing that and remembering - it was a huge part of my life.

But we are living in an age unlike any other - the Spanish flu caught people unprepared and the science of epidemology unknown. Now although this is so new and different we have some medical help in place that did not exist in 1919.

But here we are in 2020 - and I agree that it really does need to be the teacher's choice on whether they should teach or not. It is indeed A Crazy New World we live in and maybe someone will write a book about this - actually I am sure there will be lots of stories told about this year

I read John Whyndam's The Day of the Triffids when I was in some level of my studies - back in the 60s. I was fascinated with this book - I think it fell apart having been read over and over again. It was about these intelligent plants taking over the whole world because most people had lost their vision because they had seen green lights in the sky. Some people hadn't and the story is about saving civilization. One issue they faced was educating the children who had survived. Great story. I wonder if I can get another copy now.

I know you will do your best with whatever is available - I know you have fought through hell and high water go get back into your profession. Who can tell right now what could possibly be the case after the school holidays>

Thinking of you still Zoe - I think I picked the right time to come back to the forum. I'm glad I am here

Dec

I am glad you are back too @Owlunar

I loved reading of your work with the kids too - they are great levellers - each one different, each one filled with wonder and each one full of hope - that is the amazing thing about my job and gives me so much pleasure daily. ....amongst it all there is still the love of the kids and their happy little faces to bring smiles to mine

Thank you @Owlunar

Do what you need for self care.

Self care has been a big learning for me on the forum. Real Self Care. I always thought I had to do more for others and the children, and that I was tough and I'll be right etc. To begin to turn that around to me from, continual striving, occasional self harm, to not deliberately hurting myself, to not accidentally hurting myself through working too hard, or doing things just outside my capacity, to actually nurturing myself beyond the absolute basics, I needed to walk with sisters.

In a strange way, I feel relieved to have my obligations reduced to just caring for me. I have sent emails to all those living, and delivered things yesterday to my son. He is doing well. My grandson is safe. We have to isolate, so

@Zoe7 and you have been crucial in that for me.

Still struggling with it, but have in real life support as well, now.

It is important that we learn what helps and enables positive growth through being with others of all ages and stages. I have taught young children and people older than myself, in groups and one to one, for fees and for free.

The current teaching situation is complex and I hear your frustrations Zoe and am glad you are able to do what you do.

Through my current "paid for by NDIS support" I have learned about the culture of fear and work of some new migrants, and understand the 'why' behind the panic, which otherwise would have only come into my awareness via news and social media. The personal touch is essential.

Yes there is a solid culture of support on the forum. Even though some people may feel they cannot access or join or gain benefit ... its evolving ... and maybe

Making false promises of safety is not helpful, on the forum or in health or education. I see it as a form of hubris. We can advocate for safe circles or behaviours or values but when we promise something that is so complex, as an absolute quality, in human care groups, we tend to look for scapegoats if there is an incident or a blip in the safety net. I still feel for the baby, the family and the workers involved in the death on the childcare bus in Qld.

Protocols under pressure are less secure ...

Hugs Ladies.

I feel privileged to have walked with you for so long now @Appleblossom and we learn from each other ...both the good and the bad. I am personally lucky to do the work I do - and more so love what I do - that makes such a difference.

We cannot always provide for a safe place anywhere as the world is in a constant state of evolution and change - people are also all very different and what one may be able to deal with another would find difficult. The forum, as which society, is a mix of different people with different ideas, views, values and opinions and that will inevitably lead to differences of opinion and perceived levels of safety. What I have found lately is an increase in some members projecting their insecurities and pain onto others in a really negative way - and furthermore not being able to recognise the affects their actions, words or behaviour have on both others and their own experiences on the forum. It is impossible for us (as a collective or community) to be constantly faced with dealing with unsafe behaviour, threats of harm or negative narratives - that is draining for many. The forum is not for everyone - sometimes we cannot provide the support that is obviously needed as it is peer to peer - we can walk along with others, share our experiences and make meaningful connections that assist us in our own individual journeys but it cannot be the be all and end all for anyone - and certainly cannot provide for the safety of all - especially when some need much greater help tan we are able to provide. For us all individully there also needs to be a balance between offline and online support and we all have a responsibility to manage that for ourselves.

Hearing you about that aspect of the forum @Zoe7 You have explained it well.

When I tried to explain projection problems like that years ago on the forum, I just got told everybody projects ... not by mods ... and yes most people project a little ... but very wounded people can project a great deal, some without the slightest level of self awareness and cause a lot of confusion. This is a forum that needs to be open to all levels of woundedness. IMHO. Yes the community guidelines can delimit and spell out crisis numbers but that used to outrage me when I first started here. I am used to it now, accept the legal reality it embraces, and do not react personally or in heated outrage on behalf of others. I wanted to meet people on a personal level, at whatever level of crisis they were in rather than the generic. That was where I was at back then, and the forum and I have changed since then.

Hugs Bella gotta off the puta.

Totally agree with you @Appleblossom re the opennes to all levels of woundedness and people in whatever stage of dealing with their mental illness 👍 My personal opinion though is with those that consistently post about wanting to harm themselves or more - and the enabling in some quarters that happens around those members. It is a fine line sometimes between support and enabling - especially when it is a continual and reoccurrent theme. I know those members are reaching out for support also but the dramatic way it is often done can be both triggering and worrying for others. The new guideline wording goes some way to alleviating this but once you see such a post (before it is removed) you cannot unsee it. There also needs to be some responsibility taken by those that write those things here - and an awareness of the effects it can have on others. None of us are immune to the distress such posts imply and therefore other members who read them also often do not feel safe in the space as a consequence. It is a hard one to deal with though but I can personally choose to walk away from that conversation to look after myself now - we can only support/help others if we too are okay to do so.