Life can be a Pain

Hi @Maggie

It helps talking things over so it's worth practising and you can do that right here

I am learning - I am more of the nature to keep stuff to myself - maybe ring Life Line - I ususally get good help there - I get anxious at times - I am feeling anxious right now

And

@outlander @Zoe7@BlueBay @Gazza75 etc

I saw my doctor today and he had delayed reading the letter from the Pain Specialist because she seemed to support my medication regime when I was there but when my doctor read the letter she sent him she started by agreeing with what I said but then contradicted me -

So the truth has not been served and that's all I am saying about her except I have decided to get into the Private System and I will do that after I have been to Cairns

Trust is an important - I used to see a private specialist at the beginning of this adventure - after I have been to Cairns I will find if he is still practising - he was the last time I looked - I might look into it before then - but actions are better kept after my holiday - hopefully I will have settled by then

And there is no hurry - my GP is supportive and doesn't want to change anything - it's so great to have him on my side

Also - it's been a long time since I needed my asthma puffer very often but over the weekend I have needed it more often - not serious - just tough breathing which is that the Greeks called Asthma

I am really tired tonight even after the peaceful weekend I had

Dec

hope you have a good sleep tonighmy second mum @Owlunar xoxo

Hi @Shaz51

I got into a bad pattern - reading late and then sleeping late -

I slept from 3.00 am until 11.00 am so that's a pretty good sleep - just at the wrong time in the 24 hour coninuum - I don't mind being awake at night - I can read for a long time - but sleeping so late during the morning - ah nah - I just find it hard to get my day attended to

Dec

hugs @Owlunar , I have been awaking up about 1am and can`t go back to sleep

You have always had trust in this GP @Owlunar and so sticking with the plan you both have and then seeing another specialist when you come back from Cairns sounds like a very good idea. You know yourself best and will follow the path that best suits you. Hugs Hon

Thanks @Zoe7

Yes - I do have a good relationship with this GP and I trust him

But I feel devastated about the lack of trust that I have suddenly developed toward this specialist - it's been a hard, long journney that started a long time ago and tonight I feel really bad - far more upset than I usually managed to go -

I will be getting onto the private pain specialist pretty soon I think even though I have months to go before I have to confront the pain clinic again -

I'm tough - I will be okay - I will have an early night tonight I think - read again for as long as I choose and maybe tomorrow my nerves will settle

Thanks again - and as for Owlunar - the weather here has been pretty wet and cold and I haven't see her again - which of course doesn't mean she hasn't been here

Thanks again

Dec

I would like to think Owlunar is out there looking down on you Hon. It may have been a surprise encounter that night but it is one you fondly remember - hold onto that memory with the hope of seeing her/him again

You were never that trusting of this specialist so I am not surprised you want to switch after what she has done. Do not let it get to you Hon - she obviously has her own agenda and that does not align with your needs. Take the time you need and then get onto the private specialist when you get back from Cairns.

Hope you sleep well tonight. Goodnight Dec

Thanks @Zoe7

I think I will be okay - pretty sure actually - I really need to tidy my house and watch TV for a while and hope I go to sleep doing that

Things usually look better in the morning

Dec

@Owlunar I’ve just read through your latest news. Trust takes along time to happen, but can be broken in a second. I would personally feel betrayed, but you are a wise woman, slow to anger it seems.

Your plan sounds like a good one and your holiday will give you time to put your plans into pace.

Managing pain is a difficult task, I know through personal experience.

I’m leaving a pic I found yesterday which reminded me of you.

Thanks @Maggie

Thanks a pretty lively owl - life is something to be taken on with a sense of humour - I like having a sense of humour - mine is taking a break today but it will return I am sure of that.

I do feel betrayed - it's a horrible feeling - I will get past this and deal with it - I tried to trace one pain specialist but that is person doesn't seem to be practising - there is another one I had forgotten about still practising and I think I will get my GP to do a referal - right now I need someone to take that over -

And you are right - chronic pain can only be managed - it doesn't get healed - it must be a hard field to practise -

So I have a bad headache today - after a bad night - I find it hard to share my feelings but it's something that helps. I don't need to be alone with the way I am feeling -

I don't feel well though - I didn't sleep well last night - I hope I can sleep today - and I feel really tired

But thanks for your thoughts

Dec