Life can be a Pain

I'm glad you have a great gp who is backing you up @Owlunar .

It's beyond annoying when 'experts'think they know more about our bodies than we do. I had a run in with a doctor today, that I have never seen before and that I didn't ask to see. He didn't listen to what I was telling him about how my blood pressure works.

And he was only trying to save is own arse, if something went wrong. Bastard.

So I feel for you.

Hi @Owlunar

ive been thinking of you and I do care

its just sometimes I don’t know what to say

but I do think of you

tske care

❤️❤️

Thanks @BlueBay @utopia @eth @Shaz51

I have been feeling very tired and I have a headache that has taken up residence - last week's stuff was enough and now I have to face two things next week

One is the Ministry of Housing coming to assess the condition of my unit which is okay but a bit intrusive - they have the right and need to and must go into every room and take photos - it's only that they are doing this that's a bother - the inside is okay - I am not a hoarder and I do keep my house in order - outside needs painting badly - I have been onto them several times over the last few years and they have not done anything but maybe now they will - it's about time

So all of that's just a nuisance - I could do without people looking into my home though - I think anyone would have a problem with that

Then there is the pain clinic - I talked to my doctor about that yesterday and it is great that he is so supportive - he told me to go back into my history more and tell them that a few years ago I was in a really bad place and taking more medication than now - do I want to mention that I started to feel better and take less medication after my mother died because that was a huge improvement in my life - that was the turning point

Also he said to go into more detail how my efforts to cut back further have caused me so much more pain - this is my body and I know - thinking about how different people experience pain differently and respond to medication differently is something to bring up and also he said to insist upon having my say and requesting that things not be changed

Okay - I can and will try - I am an assertive person - i have good insight into my life and my motives, my aims - I have many interests and my life changed radically after my mother died

I don't need to go into it again and I decided against hydrotherapy and psychotherapy - amazing - I saw her last when I had a lot going on with anniversaries and my dear old Companion Cat had died - and now I have just had the anniversary - what rotten timing

And I have had this headache - really trying - very persistent - having all the features of stress - probably tooth-grinding

But I always have an idea it will be okay - I am just writing out my uncertainty - don't all people hate that - being up in the air for someone else to make a decision that could be bad for us

I think so

Thanks everyone

Dec

I have so much admiration for you @Owlunar

Sherry 💕

@Owlunar home inspections can be really invasive, especially when they take photos. I used to have that where I lived before coming here and I hated the scrutiny. Luckily it was only once a year coz I looked after my place like you do. I was there 11 years, public housing - is that what you are in?

Best wishes for being really assertive with the pain clinic Dr. You have a right to be heard.

I love hearing that you have that feeling things will be okay. Priceless xx

Hi @Owlunar

like @Former-Member said I too have a lot of admiration for you too.

I value you being on here so much. I’m so glad I met you on here. ❤️❤️

Hope tiday is ok for you @Former-Member ❤️❤️

@Owlunar ❤

Hi all, As per usual I reach out for much needed support. I am seeping away at the edges & have not much left to give. I keep thinking & thinking: horrible & multiple nightmares, I am still functioning though. The thoughts are so nasty & no matter how adept at denial, they continue. My doona is my friend is paramount in my mind. I am so sad, although mostly unable to express it due to the mood stabiliser I take. Last night I cried, for the loss of my psychologist, he once said to me - If I wasn't your psychologist I would be your friend. He died on 1/11/2019.

I was watching Chenobyl when they shot the dogs & puppies I could not see it anymore & cried. I know that animals being hurt is so difficult for me.

I know that I have run the guantlet of denial. There is nothing wrong has kept me going. Now I am questioning this, I constantly think serious thoughts.

Perhaps I will keep on as the alternate path is so difficult.

I write this with my 15 year olf cat in my arms. He matters so much.

Hello @Bast

Sounds like things have been rough lately and losing your psychologist has hit you hard. I hope things get a bit better soon and cuddling your little pussy cat helps too.

Take care,

MummaMia

Hi Mummamia

Thank you for your reply. I am so grateful that you exist.