Life can be a Pain

Hi @Owlunar how are you? Are you ok? My mums first lost Birthday tomorrow. Did, do YOU do anything special to remember your mum? I'm worried about you. (1)that your really depressed (2)that i may have offended you.for you

Please check in soon ❤❤❤

Hello @Owlunar

I have been mindful that your anniversaries were on the horizon...not knowing when they were...

We have not conversed for a while...I have been nurturing self over in the one thread for some time now...only gingerly venturing out to different threads recently...

I saw lapse's post and was reminded of your pain...

allowing yourself this time is so very strong of you Dec...

Hi @Owlunar like @Former-Member @Sophia1 I wanted to check in with you to see how you are. I know this is a particularly tough period for you and have been thinking of you a lot at this time. I hope you are doing the little things that help you get through this time and wanted to let you know we are here for you.

Love and hugs

sending you lots of hugs and love @Owlunar

Hi @Former-Member@Shaz51@Zoe7@Sophia1@Faith-and-Hope

I am here and mostly okay - I'm very glad to get back on line again after several days

It has not been easy not having the internet or land-line access for 12 days through really difficult times as well - and it has taken my provider this long to find water in my lines outside my connection and I have missed the forum family so much

The messages and pics people sent were appreciated - I was able to read what is in the forum from my phone which I have set up not to send or receive posts - so I know people cared about me - and it feels like a really long time and it is so good to be back

The little things I missed too - like the clipart - that is a sort of hobby I do for fun - but the big issues - like my mother's birthday and mine and knowing the big anniversary is nearly here

I'm so glad to be back - I missed everyone sooooo much

All of you are so important to me

Dec

Hi @Former-Member

I have missed you so much - we are both going through anniversaries and bingo - my phone line was down for getting on for two weeks -

No - I was not seriously depressed - I had a few moments with the anniversary coming up next week - it weighs heavily on me and I know you understand and you are always there for me - and no - you have not offended me - I am really hard to offend and I would be honest and tell you if there was a bug in the works but I know you need the reassurance - I really care about you - and you have kept the faith through this dark time

Your Mother's birthday and mine are on the same day and so I don't think I will forget y our Mother's birthday. You ask if I do anything to remember my mother on her birthday and no - I don't - I just can't forget her actually and it was a rough relationship - like you and your mother not getting along at times.

There were years on end when I didn't see my mother during our life time - I guess I don't miss her because during many years she was hardly part of my life - and this is sad for her because she never really knew me or what I did - and I wasn't in her life and I don't know what she did - and for me it was easy to let go

But it is different for everyone - I care about you so much Lapses and I have missed you so much

Sending hugs

You are always in my heart

Dec

Hi @Owlunar

Sorry, I was away for a week and had not noticed you were not posting. I hope things settle now you are back online.

I remember my mother plenty often enough, I do not feel any need for a special ritual for her. Maybe one day I will? She lived a long life, whereas the others' lives were all shortened, and so anniversaries were helpful as I could invest emotional energy into those times without falling into an endless pit of grief. Some of the memories are better than others, and I allow it to be natural.

Take Care

Apple

Powerful OwlMelbourne

It is really nice to see you @Owlunar It must have been really tough not being able to get online, especially in this month when you have so many anniversaries. Been thinking of you a lot.

@Former-Member my thoughts are with you too - it is never easy when memories of the past still haunt us in the present - take care of you

Hi @Appleblossom

You are right - special rituals take a lot of emotional energy right at a time when I can least afford the energy - and I don't forget anyone - at all

I don't do anything about my son's anniversary either - I think of him everyday and every anniversary is another year past and this lost child has so many memories attached to him - I like to remember his last birthday when my daughter and I worked together to get him a jacket from disposals and sew Heavy Metals pics on it - and he was thrilled to bits with that jacket - he really was

But it was a strange thing - on my parents' wedding anniversary I missed my Dad a lot but not my mother - and he has been gone longer. I used to be the chip off the old block now I am the proud being called the old block I think

Thanks Apple

Dec