Life can be a Pain

@Owlunar thinking of you 💖

@Owlunar

Hi @Former-Member and @outlander

I have not been in lately - I haven't been really bad or anything - just very flat and I kind of withdraw into myself - I feel okay when I do that but I am aware of my sorrow and other people in the family having problems too and just find it really hard to move out of my own shadow

It's really hard to know how I feel because nothing terrible is going to happen - I just feel really tired a lot of the time and can't seem to think of anything useful to say and sometimes posts are a bit challenging - I seem to be on a go-slow strike but I don't expect anything to change - I am just puddling along and I did cooking on Saturday but yesterday spent most of the day resting my sore leg

Thanks for the pictures - they are lovely

I see you have to have an MRI Lapses - I am glad you are going to have that - don't know if anyone has contrasting dye for one of those = I will have to look it up - but the cost is high - that's for sure - if you went to see a specialist you would be able to have one for free - or if you had a sudden injury you could get one free - so it's a bit confusing as to why it will cost you to have to pay for it

You need to have one though Lapses - you have had back-pain for as long as I have known you and it will be good to find out what's going on - I will be looking for the results.

Thanks girls - all the best for both of you

Dec🎆🎇🎊🎉

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@Zoe7 wrote:

I will keep you informed on the party details @Owlunar

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Hi @Zoe7

I feel as if I am letting you down but I know you understand - I am just feeling really flat lately and I feel okay when I withdraw into myself - I feel better here - it's safe and I don't feel very useful generally. But I am okay

Instead of being useful I found that I can play Cribbage on the my computer and I used to play this with my mother when I was a kid - she insisted we had never play crib but I remember we used to play it all the time and now playing with the computer I have moved from Easy to Medium and until I have written this here I have been consistently winning - and with the flat feeling and the really gloomy and cold and damp weather her I have been happy just plodding along - playing the piano or crib or doing some cooking - reading a lot - and over the weekend I have stayed in bed late reading

I'm looking forward to the Full Moon Party though and hope we have it - it should be fun - I will bring my mini-pavs - I always enjoy those - at any celebration - other people seem to enjoy them as well

All the best Zoe - I hope you are okayish - as good as possible for you rigtht now. I think there has been some snow in Tassie - I hope you are keeping warm - which is what I am doing in Melbourne

Sending hugs

Dec

Thanks @outlander

Dec

Hi @outlander

My cousin died10 years ago - around this time - we are not sure of the date he died.

And yes - the weather is bleak and rotten here right now - and it sort of makes it dull and cheerless and this is the way the weather is at this time of year

I will be okay - I just don't have much energy right now and just learning to let time pass at times is okay too - if we can manage that - living on my own means I don't have anybody needing me to do anything else except care for myself

But yes - feeling meh is okay - I am still the same person

Dec

Thanks @outlander

Yes - anniversaries are hard - I remember when my mother rang me and told me what had happened - it really hurt - another suicide on top of my son - and his anniversary is coming up really soon

Time passes well - I play the piano and I can play cribbage on the computer - boy does time pass fast playing that - I used to play it with my mother and that is a good memory

I have been eating properly too - I made soup over the weekend and I think I have one more serve and then I can make more - so I am well occupied and into self-care - I have self-interest very much in front of me because I want to continue living alone

Companion Cat is being Companion Cat which is a good thing - there are times when I forget where she is and she will be snuggled up against me when I am reading - I have read my way through the best part of a novel over the weekend

I know you understand - you are so thoughtful - I appreciate that so much

Awesome - yes - you really are

Dec