Hi @Former-Member@utopia@outlander@Zoe7@Shaz51@Adge@Shaz51
Hi - all you great peeps - updating and checking in - still battling but today my blood pressure medication has been okay - it was a bad day with it yesterday - really dizzy - tired - no appetite - but today that has been okay
And the spinal pain - it feels as if it's winning atm but I have had it a long time and it is case of getting through it
But my daughter is very ill - still in bed and exhaused and not eating much at all - just drinking water - and only communicating by text.
But I sent her a card Lapses - a really pretty card and sent it Express so she would get it today rather than after the weekend and I got a text thanking me and she was very pleased - so that was a good idea - I will send the flowers if she has an operation - I love flowers - and she is a horticulturist -
I talked to my doctor about her this afternoon - and he said that a ruptured ovarian cyst is a medical emergency - I know that - and the good news - an ovary can be removed by laparoscopy - and he also told me that if the surgeon was going to do a bigger operation then she needs to see a different surgeon - but yeah - how to tell her that -
So leave it there
I got an invoice from my clinic where my recently sacked pschologist works - my doctor said $55.00 is a very high sum to pay esp when I had cancelled out with a few hours and I didn't just not turn up - in fact he noted I have not missed an appointment with him in over three years - and I go a lot - so yeah - what to do about that
Going back for more sessions is totally out of the question - I will wake up in severe pain again and that kind of day is a write-off from the first breath - so it could happen again - and I am going to write a letter and say this including that with trouble getting onto the blood pressure tablets and that my daughter is so ill I would not have missed an appointment - and remind them I have been in with both knees bandaged and limping in with a sprained ankle and this time I had other really debilitating problems that day but the pain was severe
And a couple of other things - for me this is a principle- I had talked about this when I attended explaining my spinal pain and it seemed to me that ringing first thing in the morning was okay - and they really wanted 48 hours - I think - but even 24 hours warning is impossible - people get sick from all sorts of things and some people might battle their way in with flu or maybe a stomach bug - who wants that?
All this has to be the pits - I don't know how I manage to remain cheerful but I do somehow - but indeed - thank God for Companion Cat - she will listed to me - for as long as she feels like it which can be a long time at times
I have talked to my mother Lapses - and I have stopped - I still think there is a lot of stuff I want to tell her but she had her chance to listen for over 70 years - I have said my Good-byes - which I did not get from her - I have had to move on - I forgave her for my own sake - she would not have seen that she needed it - but she was so unhappy for the last years
So right now I am okay - the pharmacist told me I could have good days or bad days with this medication and my doctor wants to stick with this one for the time being - if he had written my first script he would not have given me that one and he would have started with a lower dose -
So what is causing me to be so vacant at times - not really myself - I am not sure - but there is background noise as well and I am thinking that last 8 - 9 months it has been interesting and in a way I could do without - if I am having a bad year it is nearly over

So who am I when I am not feeling myself
Sending hugs to you Lapses
And all you guys - you have been so kind lately
Dec