Life can be a Pain

sorry

💜 @Former-Member ..... How are you coping with this ?

Good you got an appointment today @Owlunar

How'd it go @Owlunar

Hi @Shaz51 & everyone... xox

@Faith @Faith-and-hope, not sure why i posted that distorted version of the facts. Will take it to the other thread. Not handling it well. New boundaries, change & grief are hard.

@Former-Memberbig hugs and breathe...

@Owlunar Thinking of you and wishing the best when at the dentist.

Hi @utopia@Appleblossom@Former-Member@outlander@Faith-and-Hope

Yes Utopia - it was a tough weekend but I had nothing like the pain I woke up with yesterday - I never say my back pain registers at 10 on the mysterious 1 - 10 scale - but yesterday it hit 10 - and I could hardly believe it - it seemed to be the worst pain I ever had but I recall a time when I had abscessed teeth and yeah - the pain had to be that bad back then

I have been the victim of an incredibly bad bite - lost many teeth because of this and also damaging my front teeth in a fall when I hit my face on the bottom of the bath when I was a kid - when I think of all the things that have happened to me in my life this still feels enigmatic because my upper partial denture has "minor imperfections" and look incredibly natural and since I have had them I am happy about my smile and do so more naturally - so yeah - enigmatic.

Yesterday - my dentist couldn't see me in the morning but he had time in the afternoon and there were no other patients there and he saw me as soon as I turned up - the pain killers I had taken had helped but wow - he gave me all this time - I was his first patient and he is always wonderful and understanding - he knows I have had some really tough stuff in my past and he is more like a friend who happens to be a dentist

It was a painful examination - that tooth could not bear to be touched - but he was really gentle and the couldn't find anything wrong with the tooth but I had chipped the tooth a couple of weeks back and the tooth above was connecting badly and I had a - still have - a traumatised tooth.

Since I decided to go to Hobart I have been grinding my teeth in a huge way and the two wisdom teeth on the right side have been taking the stress and wow - he cleared the point of the upper tooth that was pressing on the sore tooth and told me to wear my partials all the time now - that means at night because I grind my teeth

So yes - Hobart and visiting my relatives - I realise that my uncle is more important to me than my own parents - he was there for me through the darkest years of my like when my parents were not. I saw how ill he is and it was a good day when I saw him. I don't know how long he has got left - I can hope I see him again in a few months - really weeks - I have to recover myself first - but it is in my plans to go in the winter I think -

After I saw the dentist yesterday I was exhausted and I can only eat soft food for a few days - however long it takes for the bruising in my tooth to settle - and I have a lot of stuff to fix here after several days of feeling unwell - I have a domestic worker coming for an hour today - at least the place will be clean

My son, both my parents - two cousins, one of my uncles and one of their wives and now my favourite uncle - having so many young uncles growing up was special and the time comes when they have to leave - and their wives - but this uncle has been special - all my life.

Also - my uncle and aunt introduced me to someone they knew and called me their favourite niece - yes - this was special - and i will store these memories for the future

I will get by with the help of my forum family - physical pain is more obvious I guess - but the emotional pain goes far deeper as we all know - but I have all of you here

Dec

Thanks @Appleblossom

It worked out well at the dentist - see above message - and I still have pain in the tooth and therefore need a soft food diet - and I am exhausted - but yes - it went well

I think you are are are now involved with the same Royal Commission - I might seem to be on the edges but I have more involvement than I can talk about here - this really is a delicate issue and I saw a programme on Channel 9 on Sunday night that went into children in Government run institutions - there are many things we need to know but would rather not

Regardless - I think I see things more clearly now and I care about you and what you are doing a lot more - it is really important and I do understand that you need to press forward as you can and know it's really hard

Sending my best thoughts

Dec

Hi @Former-Member

It went okay at the dentist - really exhausting though - see the big explanation about it above

I understand - grief and loss - that is a real life changer, the change as well - tough - and new boundaries - I guess you mean your sibs - I will have to find where else you are posting.

Boundaries - yes - we need our own as well - I get that - I remember how my son didn't respect anyone else's boundaries and I thought Borderline Personality Disorder meant that he couldn't tolerate boundaries - but that is part of it - establishing that I had to have my own set out clearly was a new thing - I had to to maintain Tough Love

I don't know your message but whatevere it is - I know your sister is a boundary-crasher and two of your brothers are probably trying it out on you now as well as your Dad -

Whatever it is though Lapses - I understand that much - the whole family has all this change with new ideas and new boundaries and this can't be easy and I really know about TS - as I am sorting out my own life with my new therapist I will be cutting my TS off at the socks too - cause she has this habit of crashing my boundaries and this has to stop

Thinking of you heaps though Lapses

Dec