Life can be a Pain

Hi @outlander

It's okay for me to have pain - I have chronic pain so it really is part of my story - it's one of the reasons I am here

btw - I feel as if I get more support here than I did in a Support Group based in another country - people here really care

My phone - ah yes - my fault I think - I need a new battery - I will keep playing a couple of games I like that really stress the battery and my phone keeps giving me messages about this - so yes - after the main holidays I need to get up to a shopping mall and get a new battery and also get new sneakers at the Ahtletes Foot. I bought the pair I have now in the winter of 2016 and I have worn them nearly every day since then - the soles are wearing down but they still look fine so it was a good purchase

Yes - I will wait until my knee gets better before I visit my rellies - it has a lot of arthritis in it which is why it's taking longer to recover. I want to be able to see a few things when I travel too - I walk a lot when I am away - I want to see my rellies and I need to write them a letter rather than type one - their computer has given up the ghost so it's snail-mail and they have been away over the break so yes - time to get that written and posted

Thinking of you Outlander and hoping things are reasonable for you

Dec

@Owlunari understand in a way- not the same issues but i have chronic pain too so can empathise with you there. i am so glad your supported here. thats really good to hear. we really do care for you

im glad youll be getting your phone fixed and new shoes too! thats was a good buy i must say!

i hope your knee does heal quickly so that your able to go visit them and do what you would like to do whilst your there

Thanks @outlander

I remember that you were thrown from a horse and have some back injuries after that

One thing I know about chronic pain is that I have found I have been unreliable - I have people ask me

"You are so highly qualified - why aren't you working?"

Okay - I know you have a fourth job - you are living with chronic pain and that is a really hard job - it can totally rearrange your life - take over - make it hard to keep commitments - and this is so hard for anyone - esp a young person - and no one can see it

My rellies - my uncle is elderly and very frail now - it's been a long time since I saw him and he has been in my life all the time until the last couple of years. When I go there I will stay at a hotel and get a taxi out to where they live and stay for maybe an hour - respecting his health etc - but I really feel the need to go

There is so much to see there - in that small city - I have already seen a lot there but apart from seeing my rellies I want to take a bus up a mountain there and see the view - and maybe get a ferry out onto the estuary - I did a lot of cruises when I was in Sydney last winter - it seems ages ago now -

Here's a pic of the mountain and the view from the mountain - it's a great place to visit

Dec

yeah lots of work indeed! might change in the new year hey @Owlunar

sounds like youve got an adventure planned whilst still being respectful of your relatives. im sure they will enjoy the shorter visits as i know elderly get tired pretty quickly so even half an hour seems like a long time to them.

wow that views amazing. how pretty!

Hi @outlander

Yes I know elderly people find a short visit to be longer for them than it would for me but it is more than that

One relative seems to be over-protective about the other and I can't speak to the other one because one is in the way and this has been going on for a long time - also - they are having a lot of trouble I can't talk about but it is something I know about - and I find that the constant refusals of my brief visits hard and I have been understanding

But I know frail, aged people die, there have been a lot of elderly people in my family and some of them - including both my parents - have died already and I want to see one of them - well not to say goodbye but at least to see them one more time

The anniversaries of both my parents' deaths are in the next few days - and I have a headache - I am about to write a handwritten note to my relatives to say I am planning to visit that beautiful city in a few weeks whether they can see me or not and I really want to see them

I am thinking that one of them might really want to see me but hasn't the chance to say so - I have been having a really quiet time with 2 long weekends close together and this is okay for me but I do have to mail a letter in a Christmas Card

In the long run it doesn't matter a whole lot what I want - but at least I am doing my best to let them know I care - and maybe this does count

But thanks Outlander

Dec

hi @Owlunar its sounding pretty rough for you at the moment. i do think you are doing the best you can. i think they will appreciate the handwritten note in the mail. im abit old fashioned in the sense i like things coming in the post besides bills but that aside i use to love sending letters as well.

maybe before you write get a handle on that headache so your in a better mindframe. its not nice trying to write with a headache.

sending lots of hugs and support to help you ge through the next few days and those aniversaries. please know that we do care for you here and are more than happy to just 'sit' with you

Thanks @outlander

I know you are always there and right now that is very comforting.

I just realised how close my parents' anniversaries are - a few days apart on the calendar but actually several years in between - maybe that is giving me a headache and maybe I should take a walk in the fresh air as my knee has been feeling a bit better over the last few days - which is on time according to what the surgeon told me

Hand written letters are more rare now - I have been emailing my rellies every now and again - not too often - in earlier years I was in contact a great deal - even staying with them at times - but as they have aged things have naturally changed

Thanks for your support - you are very faithful in that way and I appreciate it

Dec

a gentle walk sounds good @Owlunar and im glad your knee is feeling better as well. thats great to hear.

yes how technology has grown! it is nice to still recieve personal emails but i still like good old fashioned posting in the mail. they might be a few yrs apart but loosing them so close to the same date is still hard. still hard period.

Yes - it is hard @outlander

And I need to get out into the fresh air for a while -

I know it sounds weird - the gardener has arrived to mow the lawn here and it takes a while because their is a lot of grass - and for some reason he always comes when I have a headache and I am wondering how that happpens - ouch - ouch - ouch

Whatever I do though I think cup of coffee would help - I usually only drink it in the morning but it does help a headache

Dec

a walk outside and a cofee sounds good @Owlunar

yes noisy things always seem to happen when we have headaches dont they!