Life can be a Pain

Hi @utopia@Shaz51@outlander

Yes - it's the uncertainty of change and wondering WHEN - it bothers me and I don't like it

I'm not depressed - I have had reactive depression in the past and yes - I am still grieving for my son - and maybe the person who came here to interview me put that in because it would work in my favour but really - if things would just be steady I would be okay - I don't mind being alone at all - I am so used to it I like it this way

But the knee-thing is beating me down atm - I saw my doctor again last night - I talked to him about the trouible in the supermarket and that I might have to stop that temporarily - maybe I will try getting stuff from Light and Easy which is supposed to be pretty good - but I will have to get my shopping down by my helpers - for the time being

I get really stressed out there at the best of time because people can be so rude - over the years I have had a few encounters that have not been pleasant - but at the same time I go into the supermarket with my crutches praying that this will not be the day that I end up in an ambulance having a trip into the ED which usually means me going home with no help at all because chronic pain is hard to treat -

It must nearly be time for me to see my pain specialist - I was going to push the idea of me getting back into driving again but right now - no - I don't want to go there - trying to make my point with her can take a lot of effort but one thing about this report I have from the Federal Aged Care people

I don't have any cognitive deficits - that is really good - really cool - I can make that point to my pain specialist next time perhaps. I just got up and checked my diary - I see the pain specialist in a month - I hope I am ready to talk about my licence by then but somehow - I don't think so - jusgt have to let it go this year

My daughter and I are texting each other today - I always like it when we do this - and it's great to have something good to report

Sorry about the grouching

Dec

Giving you a big hug @Owlunar

My daughter and I are texting each other today , this is good my friend

@Former-Member I finally found your picutre that you sent me. Thanks NellBell. xx

Rant all ya like @Owlunar, my son thinks its complaining, which is negative & counterproductive - but I think its a necessary evil, especially for us who live alone / have noone to share oue day with. Yes, its a form of protest, but all part of coming to terms with 'unwanted change' (thanks @utopia). I think you're coping well Dec, especially given the physical limitations with the pain & knees... Don't be hard on yourself.

With 'the system' try not to get too far ahead of yourself. Yes cost is important but as far as 2+ years down the track - the rules change by then anyway. We can't control or anticipate everything, sometimes we have to make the decision (after careful consideration) then have faith & trust everything will work out. You'll know when its time to review your options. Louise Hay has an affirmation:

"Everything I need to know comes to me in the right time"

I think a 2yr plan is well enough.

My cas community support work pays me $20hr, the clients pay my boss $10hr (subsidised by gov), most had me 2hrs a week. They have CDC (client directed care) packages, but your package might be different. I don't see how 2hrs a WK is enough. My mum is currently getting 4hrs wk CDC package for 6wks (bet she uses most of that to go shopping lol).

Chin up 💜💜💜

Praying for wisdom & peace for you precious lady 💜💜💜

hey @Owlunar how are you going? i know you watch over alot without posting so wanted to check in and see how you were going

@outlander

Yes - you caught me lurking - I feel it's okay when I do this because there is no way I could read as much as I do unless I don't post sometimes

I have felt better - there are too many things happening right now that are unsettling and I don't want to talk about things right now - there are times when I am better just sitting with things until my spirits settle

I notice that you have a kidney infection - that's not good - actually I am not surprised after you started to lose your water weight a few days back -

I hope that once a day medication works quickly - I think you are run down emotionally and physically and you are just exhausted - as you say just falling apart from the inside

But you didn't do anything to deserve this - you haven't had time to deserve all you have - and I don't think I did anything to deserve what's going on with me either - though perhaps all my sport caused some of my arthritis

This is life getting in the way of our other plans

All the best

Dec

David Attenborough was really good tonight - I am in Melbourne and it was on at 7.30 on One

i don't like talking about my problems much - I am not depressed or in any kind of bad place - just feel unsettled and it sometimes feels like "darn - what's next?" and I guess you know how that feels

About my knee though - and that is probably one of the things that bother me a whole lot - I am going from day to day wondering when I am going to find the knee either freezes or buckles on me and today it froze - and the phone was ringing and I was stuck half-way out of my chair wincing and hoping whoever it was would leave a message - which they did

I am really glad I am seeing the surgeon in a couple of weeks - as unexciting as my choices are right now - at least I will know

Dec

Hi @Former-Member

Wow - the package I am on now runs out in 2019 and that's just over a year ahead - though I don't know when my package will be redundant - I have been getting 5 hours but I doubt that will continue and it will cost a lot more - I have been able to figure that out - but I don't know yet if I will be subsidized and this is unsettling but I have read through all the documents they sent me and I haven't been able to find out much more that is there for a deep reader - time will tell I guess

Right now I think everything is harder because of my knee - I have been wondering when it will either freeze in one position or give way under me - today it froze straight with the phone ringing - and I couldn't get up to answer it - stuck half way out of my chair - egad - at least I had the time because the person left a message

But day after day the story goes on and it's tiring and other stuff happens - something that right now I have no control over and don't know if it will come to pass - just enough said to say - "Darn - what next?" - but it's hours now since I got that news and I am settling down - it helped to have dinner - I am harvesting the greens in my garden now and they taste fan-tast-ic

I doubt that your Mum can spend her whole 4 hours shopping though - it doesn't work that way - the people who take people out and do other personal care are higher qualified than domestic workers - your mum will find she has people who insist on cleaning and oh dear - I will be interested to hear

And of course - what will be will be - but that doesn't mean we will like it - and lately I have had a few too many moments I don't like - and years - your son can call it complaining but we all need to voice our discontent and I think young people do a lot of that - and why not?

Life does get in the way of my plans though

Dec

Whooooooo