Is looking down really that bad? ..its what I needed at the time

Hi @Dark_Olena,

Sorry to hear that you have had an encounter with your sister today and have been left dealing with the after effects of this this afternoon.

It is not wrong that you looked down and refused to engage with her given she has had such a negative impact on the relationships you and your other sisters have with her and your mother. It sounds as though the circumstances of your relationship with your sister contributed or are responsible for the PTSD symptoms you are experiencing and as you said, you needed to do what you had to in order to not be triggered significantly by her and to make sure your look after yourself in that situation.

I'm glad to hear that the effects dont last as long as they used to.You should be proud of yourself that you were able to do what you needed in the situation, this is hard to do!

Make sure you look after yourself tonight

Thankyou @Former-Member my other 2 sisters are not me, though we have been all through our own hell with these 2 family members. We are each different in how we deal with it. They would look her in the eye and say hello, but keep going without stopping to show her, that she has no more effect on us, I just cant do it, looking down is good for me, even if those translate that as intimidation.

Feel for you don't get along with my siblings either,the only thing is I know I let it destroy me,eg: contributed to my anxiety due to avoiding them.At the end of the day I question whether they are worth the stress they have caused.

Hi @Dark_Olena

When there is so much hurt that has not been resolved it was probably the least harmful thing to do. You did not trigger or inflame situation and acted in self defence.

I dont how I would react to seeing my sister now. For so long I longed for reunion, never quite understanding the depth of the betrayal of the alliance she and mother developed at my expense.

Sudden unexpected moments like that reveal a lot, and it could be the wisdom of the body that allowed you to move a long a path of least resistance.

Forgiveness is often touted as the great panacea but in my case, my mother pushed it but did not practise it. So now I try and tease things out a bit to see what is reasonable given the circumstances.

Thankyou @Appleblossom and @Former-Member. I appreciate your replies and I can relate to your experiences. Mother was a big hyprocrite. Tried to force sibling interaction between us 4, but at the same time would bait and divide with favouritism and critisism. Yet mother hated most of her own 14 siblings and of course mother was the victimised saint.

I guess my jelly legs say it all really, 'toxic people' run