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Inner Family Systems

Inner Family Systems

Hi Everyone

I'm not really sure yet where to put this thread, so I thought I would start here ....

Inner Family Systems caught my attention last year, and quickly became a powerful relating tool for me in understanding many aspects of mental health and perhaps / probably disorders. I want to explore the concept and its value here, just quietly, amongst interested forum members to try to work out how much it might help carers in understanding and supporting those they are caring for, and themselves in the support role .... and perhaps how it can help us keep our balance, or help to right an imbalance, through a stronger awareness of our individual psychological make up.

I suspect it may also have a powerful influence on the Lived Experience forum too, but I don't have the confidence at the moment to take it there, and I would also be conscious of not interfering with those under treatment with their own psychologists, although of course this information is readily available to anyone who is interested and seeks to know more.

As a simplistic explanation, Inner Family Systems theory is based on the principle that we all have a set of sub-personalities or "mini-me's" that in combination make up our overarching personality. These include our inner child, or more likely, children, and sub-personalities identified by such titles as Inner Critic, Princess, Jester, Sage, Peacemaker, Loner, Perfectionist, Organiser, Hurt Little Boy .... and many more.

Apparently we have an average of 12 sub-personalities, and the relationships between these "inner family" members are how we function and manage day to day. A recent movie - Inside Out - by Pixar created a visualisation of this concept in a simplistic, but I think relatable, form.

@Former-Member .... you and I have chatted a bit along these lines, but only respond if you feel comfortable to.

@Smc .... I know you are caring for a daughter with DID, and IFS may cross into an understanding of this condition too .... at least I see strong correlation.

I will find some lists of sub-personalities to post here next.

24 replies

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In response to: Inner Family Systems

Re: Inner Family Systems

Yes @

His point is more that behaviours have continuums and motives and dynamcis and that self awareness about our own patterns will help us from getting stuck on auto pilot .. in a behaviour or attitide that no longer serves us... I like that he also has a stated "learning edge" regarding the personality ..

In response to: Inner Family Systems

Re: Inner Family Systems

Sorry .... forgot to tag you into that last one @Appleblossom ....

I love my Jester / Clown sub-personality ..... even though I know that one can get a bit out of hand for some people, and at times for me, when you use it as a shield to avoid having to communicate with someone on a deeper level .... but at other times that is a fully legitimate response that can take the edge off an uncomfortable situation, or provide a security screen if someone is trespassing your boundaries .....

I also relate strongly to a Peaceful Warrior sub-personality ..... but sometimes "keeping the peace" isn't the right thing to do either .... but if we can accept our inner family with self-compassion, it starts to take the judge mentality out of it, and replace it instead with curiosity and appreciation .... as Dr Schwartz explains.

In response to: Re: Inner Family Systems

Re: Inner Family Systems

It is interesting @Faith-and-Hope

Hello @Appleblossom, @Susanna

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