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Managing relationships

Totally alone, don't see a way out

Uglygirl87Casual Contributor

Totally alone, don't see a way out

why do people never want to be there for the bad times, only the good?

I'm in love with a guy who told me he'll give me space to sort myself out.

I've been drinking and doing other stuff just to cope in some small way. [edited by moderator] Haven't seen him for 2 weeks even though he lives 10 minutes away. He can't handle my bpd although I'm sure he has it too.

I've told him how I can't cope alone, I am having panic like attacks, I can't sleep. I've lost all interest in life. He keeps saying I need to make myself happy and not rely on others for happiness. I can't cope with not seeing him, no affection or sex for 2 weeks

I'm not sure how to go another day like this.

3 replies

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In response to: Totally alone, don't see a way out

TrixieCatCasual Contributor

Re: Totally alone, don't see a way out

@Uglygirl87 I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way. I have been where you are. It’s hard. Feeling like you’re doing it all alone.
Do you have any other family or friends you could reach out to at this rough time? Sometimes the people we don’t think of are the ones that will show up. We just have to let them know we need them.
I would also check out Lifeline or similar services. Their online chat is really helpful if you’re not a talker on the phone. Sometimes that’s a barrier. I find the text function so much better.
I hope you find some help. Reach out again if you need. X

In response to: Totally alone, don't see a way out

rav3nSenior Contributor

Re: Totally alone, don't see a way out

hey there @Uglygirl87 i can hear how painful and overwhelming this has been for you to deal with. dealing with panic attacks and struggling to sleep on top of all that sounds like its making things feel heavier too, i'm so sorry to hear.

relationships can be complicated, and i can imagine that dealing with all those feelings on your own isn't easy either. is there a friend, family member, or professional you can reach out to about this? here's a few that i suggest reaching out to if you'd like:

when i was dealing with anxiety and depression, i tended to lean on my friends a lot and sometimes they felt quite overwhelmed and burnt out from supporting me. at the time, i felt like they couldn't handle me and didn't care about me enough. but after talking to my clinician, i realised that i was treating my friends like a 'therapist' and was overstepping some boundaries. it's 100% okay to lean on friends, partners, family members, etc for support, but unfortunately they have their limits as they are not mental health professionals. do you reckon you could have a convo with your bf and figure out some boundaries in supporting each other so it feels more balanced for you both?

In response to: Totally alone, don't see a way out

stimpyhgCasual Contributor

Re: Totally alone, don't see a way out

Really sorry to hear about your situation. I went through some tough times this month recently too. For myself it was all about self-love and being compassionate with myself. Things like walks in nature helped me immensely, perhaps it was the clean air or hearing the sound of birds. Music as well always helps to remind me that I'm not alone in what I'm feeling.

I think using the Crisis support suggested by SANE is certainly a good place to start. Look after yourself, there's always hope.

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

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