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The monsters in the day

The monsters in the day

Have you ever been taunted by the day as the external factors are closing in and challenging every angle making you question your own worth

It's the time when you think if help is coming this is its chance, when people are maybe responsive and yet only struggle and anxiety seems to lurk

It's the piece inside me that rationalises if kindness is real than today maybe the day and my fight is relentless but sadly I only get let down with this pursuit

Its when my fear is at its highest as I am left open to people's words, actions, or lack there of and despite my best efforts the responses of empathy are mute

Therefore my time for reprieve is found at the middle of the night, where rejection is no longer found, the fear and expectations are laid to rest for the night

And here I find my moment to breathe, where I gain my sanity and recollect my thoughts and emotions and in that moment I feel ok, and think maybe it will come alright

It's potentially disillusioned as the sun rises not long after and there my hope and expectations start as I hold to the fight and hustle of life for another day

After the ease I think yes, I can cease this day, but for me the monsters aren't found in the dark of the night, they are found here in pure daylight and I can't seem to shoo them away

I have had to conclude to survive this chapter, minimising outside activity is priority to avoid any harm and I have to try and rest as I try to ease my mind

If wishes were true I'd wish someone would come and help me take the monsters away that lurk in the day and that a hand to physically reach would assure safety is in sight

4 replies

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In response to: The monsters in the day

Re: The monsters in the day

Hi @Former-Member

I'm sorry to hear that you're being let down so frequently. While I hear that it is a source of pain, I can't help but be struck by the courage it takes to continue to hold that hope each day, despite being let down the day before.

I wish I could do more to shoo these day time monsters away, but I can be here and sit with you today

In response to: Re: The monsters in the day

Re: The monsters in the day

Hi @Ru-bee @thank you. Yes I am scared to really say anything and jynx it as life seems to keep proving me wrong:face_with_rolling_eyes:

but writing and night is my solace so I take in those moments and try to help them carry for the days. It's not always working and my environment causes triggers from people who are meant to love me. But I have some YouTube videos that help me, this one has been especially helpful as I am isolated.

https://youtu.be/VWEmD-S-its?si=Z86LXY6TW5G2x6t2

In response to: The monsters in the day

Re: The monsters in the day

Heya @Former-Member

I'm so sorry you're feeling so let down. The constant search for kindness and never finding it can be incredibly isolating. Sometimes, avoiding the outside world feels like the only way to cope.

It would be wonderful if you had family, friends, or even neighbors who could organize a weekly coffee club, a safe space to talk about your challenges. But the hard part is finding someone willing to take the lead and make it happen. It’s awful, isn’t it?

There’s something about the night when the world quiets down, a moment of peace, a break from the relentless pressures and disappointments of the day. No overwhelming stimulation, just darkness wrapping around you like a shield.

You’re not alone in this, even if it feels that way. If I could, I’d take those daylight monsters away too.

Sending you warm hugs,

Snuggles 🥰

In response to: Re: The monsters in the day

Re: The monsters in the day

Thank you I am on an acareage where my wheelchair can't even access outside 🤦🏻‍♀️ when I get out of here it will be freeing for sure!

@Former-Member

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