Family Problem

In short, this is not going to be a short problem.....But I've been dwelling on it for a long time about a year, since my father passed away from Mesothelioma.
Like some input, please, can my darling friends read and reply??

Last March, my father passed away from Asbestos cancer. He left my mother when she had just given birth to Their 4th child, my little brother over 40 years ago. My mother chose to she spend next 20 years on Heavy medication......like many mothers in the 70s and 80s.

My father chose to move to -America with his then girlfriend who became his wife. I had a wonderful email only relationship with my Dad for the last 4 years of his life. He was very successful in his field but would not call or visit, he was very frugal. About three years ago, he was diagnosed with Mesothelioma

My brother flew over and said goodbye to him one hour before he passed away and talked about me.He left his wife,, one son with significant developmental issues at 38 yrs old and an adopted daughter that his wife already had. the mother hated me because I was from the first marriage and actually told me when I had a bit of contact when I was 20 yrs old. I didn't hear from them again till I was 42 years old.


My Dad really loved me and we had a wonderful email relationship. About 5 months ago, his wife was driving down the street, had a car accident and though she was rescued from her car brother wasn't pulled out in time and he bled to death. The accident was her fault. I felt very upset but felt special because 2 weeks before my half brother died, I wrote him a card telling him that i Loved him. Now, my step mother sent me a cheque for Christmas. I have never heard from her before. she wrote that the money was from her account, not my Fathers trust.

I wrote her a card when my half brother passed away, but haven't written again, is she trying to mend imagined bridges? How do I write to her ? She is really grieving. I want to send her love but don't want to sound too overwhelming