Not to sure what to do

Having a problem with my ex the kids dad often enough he puts me down in frount of them saying I’m lazy my cooking is bland and so on also I have for so many years let him come and see the kids everyday and have tea too but when he is here he falls asleep riles the kids up and I’m the one who has to settle them down when he leaves he also takes the oldest out and gets stuff from the supermarket and is also always messaging and calling her instead of me. He has them every fortnight at his. Often enough when I say something he just cracks it I ask nicely saying can be just the kids and I he often makes me feel like I’m the worse person in the world if I say something if I don’t say anything I’m still a horrible person I have tried to put boundaries in place but doesn’t seem to work and atm my mental state not very good I have the oldest off to high school and other one in year 3 and feel lost and also family who not well just everything feels so overwhelming and don’t like going out I hate going out and I’m not sure what to do about all of this