Arguing between household members

I can only imagine how frustrating it would be not only to witness this constant fighting, but to have them try to bring you into it by asking you to take sides or venting to you @PeterStrahm

I'm hearing that you feel really stuck in this situation, and maybe I can't offer an easy solution (though I wish I could) but I can let you know that I'm here for you and I'm really impressed with the boundaries that you are working on setting. That's a really hard thing to do and it often does come with push-back like you've experienced, but I hope that you're able to keep it up.

Hey your family sounds toxic for you and the sooner you get away from them the better. You’re better off without them. They do not care about you. So you should not care about them. Start a new life. Never look back keep moving forward. I also feel alone there’s plenty of apps like talklife and Wakie app (talk to strangers) where you can talk to people 24/7 you can choose to show your name and picture or make an anonymous account. You can also deactivate your account or delete it.

Hey @Peppapig just wanted to pop in here. I can totally understand you wanting to be encouraging to @PeterStrahm about their situation, however we encourage members to keep in mind that sometimes it's difficult to be able to take steps that may seem obvious to others, and sometimes what feels right for us may not be right for others. So we encourage folks to use language that isn't too prescriptive i.e. telling others what we think they should do.

For example, you could always say something like "It sounds like your family is toxic for you, and maybe getting away from them could help. Have you considered cutting ties?" or use your own experience like "If I were you I would cut ties with the family, it sounds like they are super toxic" rather than just stating that it is the way to proceed - cos we don't know, maybe it's not!

It can totally take some getting used to but if you have any questions or concerns happy to talk you through them 😊

Totally fine @Peppapig nothing you need to be sorry for - I could definitey tell you were just offering some friendly advice!! Don't let it discourage you from posting, sometimes it just takes a little getting used to with a different style of communicating!

Thank you, @Ru-bee. Setting boundaries has been incredibly difficult and I've been second guessing myself constantly. I had an argument with my family member last month because I tried to set a boundary with them forcing me to sort out issues between them and our other relatives. Your message is really reassuring to hear.

@Peppapig (love the username!) I should clarify that generally my family are nice people, when they interact with others and when they're not mad. There's only one person in my family I'd say deliberately instigates arguments, and I would consider cutting them off if I wasn't bed bound and dependent on the care of my family. I've never heard of the apps you mentioned, but I'll definitely look into them. Thank you for the suggestions!