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When we start feeling worth again?

EbonyEyesNew Contributor02 Feb 2025, 6:04 pm AEDT

When we start feeling worth again?

Due my poor mental health Im living a really bad year. I am aware that the year just started and I have 10 months ahead. But still not think it wont be as bright after all. Today is 5 months since my partner left me. We were facing a lot of issues but the majors were my infertility and my mental health that got even worse after all the treatment. I always had mood swing, I think I might even being bipolar, but never had money to see a psychiatrist to really figure it out what i really have. But yet due the lack of lucky to conceive I just got more and more depressed and he just couldnt take it anymore.

As you can see by my broken english Im not from here. My family and friends are 15h behind what make things even tougher.

Im in that moment in life where Im almost 40 and infertile. So be a mother is out of option. Unless I find someone who already has kids or willing to adopt. But thats not even my biggest fear atm.

I lost my joy in life. I had a lot of suicidal thoughts ever now and then, but Im not courageous enough to go ahead. Mainly because of my religion.

I dont think I belong in Australia, but after almost a decade far from home I dont feel like I belong there either. I didnt grow up with my family for a lot of different reasons what make even harder to think that my roots are there.

With the end of my relationship I lost not only my fiance, but also his family, friends and most importantly his dog. I just dont see myself overcoming this. I cant find any job, I have no friends, no family.I really tried to understand what is God's plans with my life.

4 replies

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In response to: When we start feeling worth again?

tymeModerator02 Feb 2025, 6:19 pm AEDT

Re: When we start feeling worth again?

Hi there @EbonyEyes ,

I'm so so sorry to hear how hard things are for you. I can see that loneliness and isolation can sink in when you are not around family and friends - and pets.

How do you spend your days? Do you work? Study?

Before all this happened, what were things you enjoyed doing?

We are here for you. By connecting with others, hopefully you feel less alone.

In response to: When we start feeling worth again?

MJG017Senior Contributor02 Feb 2025, 9:21 pm AEDT

Re: When we start feeling worth again?

Hi @EbonyEyes, welcome to the forum.

Your situation sounds really difficult. While I was born here, I can somewhat understand the feeling of not belonging in either place you have the closest connection to, albeit in a different way. I was adopted and just over 3 years ago I finally found and met my biological family. I never felt that close to my adopted family, or ever felt like I belonged there or was similar to them in any way. I then met my biological family and instantly felt more connected to them and felt much more like them in many ways. But they were strangers I'd just met. So now I have these two families but aren't really connected to either, and aren't a part of either. It doesn't help that i've never really found it easy to make friends either so i've struggled there as well.

Probably because of growing up never feeling like I was part of a real family, the only thing I really wanted out of life was kids. Unfortunately that never happened, and when it did become possible, well, different issues made it impossible. So now in my 50's that loss still weighs very heavily on me, so i understand your pain and loss of joy in life.

I can only imagine how much harder it must be to deal with all of this while living in a foreign country. It can seem like nothing will ever change, but if just even keep the slightest flicker of hope alive, things can change and you can find things that even if they don't bring joy, they can bring some form of contentment and even happiness. there are so many things we can't control but one of them is how we respond to anything and everything. So do whatever you can to look for that hope and start to make some positive changes. Reaching out here shows a lot of courage and is a great start I think.

In response to: Re: When we start feeling worth again?

tymeModerator02 Feb 2025, 9:33 pm AEDT

Re: When we start feeling worth again?

Thank you for sharing @MJG017 . That was very very heartfelt and powerful.

In response to: Re: When we start feeling worth again?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor02 Feb 2025, 10:09 pm AEDT

Re: When we start feeling worth again?

@EbonyEyes it is such a good question. When do we feel worth again.

I find it fleeting but really worth it when it surprises me ... In my skin.

Gently Bently

Apple

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