Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Happy holidays!!! @Spirit_Healer

You made it!

How's it all going?

Hey @tyme ,

My anger at my last dating partner is still there, subsiding slowly. He expected too much of me and didn't raise his disappointments with me until he called it quits.

I shut down this morning and almost needed to take anxiety meds. My parents were with me and eventually my shaking and frustration settled down. It happened because the regional train was too full to board and we had to change plans for today, to spend time in the city instead of the country.

I've brought marking home and will need to do it at some point.

I also still feel envious at my brother for how everything is falling into place for him: good income and job; upcoming wedding to another high achiever; ample opportunities, money and energy to travel, etc. I feel like my health has limited a lot of aspects of my life, and although I chose to leave the field my brother is working in, I feel like it's all been so unfair for me. It's like a certain kind of grief that comes with reshaping my life to be 'right' for me and my limitations.

@tyme , do you follow religion? I started going back to church around the time I became unwell the last time. It was good, but I feel like I'm drifting away again. I run out of energy to attend services and mostly I go to small group on weeknights, without going to hear the weekly sermon on weekends. Underneath everything, I also feel like I've suffered so much, that I wonder how a higher being would want that for me.

@Shaz51 @MissGremlin @NightFury waving 👋 hello, hope your weekend is going well!

Hello @Spirit_Healer sweetheart ❤️

Hey @Spirit_Healer ,

Yes, I go to church regularly. It's like family. I grew up in the church so it's hard to drift away. I'm a christian even though my parents aren't.

As for your brother, I hear what you are saying. I've always thought my two sisters had is easier than me and have everything going for them. Years later, they are married, have a few kids each, good jobs, good income, mulitple houses... but even then, I no longer envy them. I'm happy to be free and childless. One of my sis is a school assistant principal and the other is an engineer.

I'm so free because I can do what I want and spent whatever money I want. I used to envy them, but not anymore.

Sometimes though, I wonder if I'll end up grumpy, selfish and horrible when I'm old....

Hello @tyme ,

I'm getting along with my parents well. Went with them on a few day trips over the holidays.

Back to work and I'm struggling with my energy. Feeling tired at my desk. Still needing to nap most afternoons and only just falling asleep quicker these past two nights. Trying harder with putting away screens an hour before bed.

That sounds really hard. Do you think it's the medication causing you to feel so lethargic? Or do you think you need to have your physical health checked out? Early this year, my iron was REALLY low again... I was so lethargic... @Spirit_Healer

Now, I feel so much better...

Just say you pushed through and didn't sleep in the arvo, do you think after a while it will help you adjust back into a regular sleeping pattern?

I'm glad you went away with your family. They must be so happy that you are home.

Please take care and look after yourself.

Hello @tyme ,

I'm taking Iron and Vitamin D supplements at the moment. I suspect my tiredness is a combination of bad sleep patterns, medication oversedation and possibly mental health issues. A friend of mine pointed out that even anxiety itself can be very tiring.

I agree with you that pushing through and staying awake during the afternoon sleepiness will help my night time sleep, I just fight and fight and sometimes it's just not possible, it's too overwhelming. Right now, this afternoon I seem to be succeeding though. I notice that some lunch foods are less 'food-coma-inducing' than others: the low-GI carbs are better for me than the high-GI or processed ones.

Thank you for checking up on me.

I think we are in a similar space. That exhaustion finally creeps up on you.

How is work anyway? Have you had any issues since returning @Spirit_Healer ? I hope those teachers haven't been giving you a hard time.

Hi @tyme ,

Thanks for checking in.

One of those two teachers has been off work last week, so I didn't get the negative attention, but also didn't get support. I got quite tired today, trying to simply get some students to be quiet while watching a video, and I logged these behaviour issues on the system. The teachers have agreed to look into it. We'll see what happens.

I napped again today, just couldn't fight it. It's still the biggest barrier to extending my partial work day.

Afterwards, I saw the bad weather outside and decided to go to the gym for today's exercise. I'm patting myself on the back for doing so.

On Saturday, I went to the city. We deliberately picked that day for the good weather. It was warm and beautiful. I had been contemplating whether or not to go, as I also wanted to conserve my energy and not tire myself out for the week. But I'm glad I went. The outing certainly reminded me that life is not just about work. I felt like I had created a better balance in my life by going. Living in the outer suburbs, I don't have much need to go to the city, except for dancing and the city's sake. But I do like being there once in a while.

@MissGremlin @NightFury @Shaz51

Thanks for the update @Spirit_Healer .

Argh... kids. I wonder if their behaviour is getting worse and worse? I heard that teachers in vic are the lowest paid... that's totally unfair. No wonder there's not enough teachers!

What time do you go home from school? So you're still working only partial days? I thought you worked full days but only a few days a week.