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Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Hey SANE community,

If we haven't yet interacted here, I'm Spirit_Healer!

I have made many friends along my journey here so far:

@tyme @Oaktree @Shaz51 @BPDSurvivor @creative_writer @The-red-centaur @rav3n @Ru-bee @Jynx @PeppyPatti @MJG017 @Healandlove @Blackcloud @Glisten @Former-Member @Clawde @ArraDreaming

And I'd love to get to know anyone else here, too!

@tyme suggested I make my own thread here, so that my posts don't get lost in the Best Friends Club thread.

You can also find parts of my story here:

Disclosing to a romantic partner

Cluster B Brother

This evening, my ex is about to call me. I haven't spoken properly to him since 11 November 2024, because he ghosted me for 8 weeks from 14 November until early January 2025. Then he met me at a salsa and bachata dance event, said "good to see you" and "did you receive my message?". The second time he said "good to see you" he disappeared. That was half an hour into the salsa social.

I just played another hour or so on the piano, sentimental and romantic pieces by Yiruma, Ryuichi Sakamoto, Chopin and Yanns Tiersen. I even had an audience of two fellow patients in the hospital at one point, before they took their night meds and went to bed. She reassured me that I could continue to play, because she would sleep through my playing.

I'd better get off now, to prepare for the phone call.

Fingers crossed we're both thinking openly, respectfully and clearly.

Afterwards, I'll take my night meds, hit the shower and then hop into bed.

Good night, and thank you, SANE community, in advance for your support!

Spirit_Healer

x

370 replies

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In response to: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

@Spirit_Healer yaaay new thread!!

Yeah how'd you go? Hope the convo was productive!!

In response to: Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Hey @Jynx @Ru-bee @tyme @Blackcloud @Oaktree @Shaz51,

It was a much-needed conversation on my part. It gave me closure.

We talked about:

  • me being the initiator of all the intimacy and messaging and how one-sided the relationship was
  • us being incompatible due to both of our avoidance and anxiety - he refused to admit he has a DSM-V-diagnosable Anxiety disorder
  • his trauma as a result of the death of his mother
  • and how he threw me away when I turned from 'strong' woman to 'weak' woman
  • him ghosting me for 8 weeks - he tried to negotiate it down to 6
  • knowing when to give up on his dream career, given that he's in his mid-thirties now

He said he had never heard such frustration from me before. I told him that this was because I had never opened up to this degree with him before. He reflected that he could hear that I was 'hurt'. I should've told him that 'hurt' is an understatement, but I didn't want to guilt-trip him further.

I told him: "I don't know if we can even be friends, you treated me so badly".

At the end, he said "Let's keep this conversation going."

I think he won't be surprised if I don't.

What's the point of so anxiously wanting to hear from me, when he never even initiated any messages mid-week while we were together?

@creative_writer @BPDSurvivor @The-red-centaur @Just @PeppyPatti @Healandlove @Glisten @MJG017 @Former-Member @rav3n

In response to: Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

@Spirit_Healer are you tired?

I’d be wreaked after that.

In response to: Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

@Spirit_Healer i'm so proud of you for having this convo with him! even though the outcome might not have 100% been what you wanted, the fact that you opened up and stood up for yourself is such a big step. i can imagine its probably frustrating having to negotiate with him as well, i hope you were able to get some self-care in after that call! i agree with @Glisten i'd be pretty exhausted after a convo like that!

In response to: Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

@Spirit_Healer that sounds like a lot to have to cope with. Sending you hugs 💖🫂

In response to: Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

@Spirit_Healer well done for being so open with him. I'm glad you were able to get so much out and I hope that it's helped you. I know it may not be the outcome you were after but I hope it's brought you some peace.

I'm so proud of you. Sending you lots of healing love ❤️

In response to: Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Thanks, everyone, @Former-Member @creative_writer @rav3n @Glisten @Jynx @tyme for your support!

Look at this watercolour I painted in Art Group yesterday (02/02/2025) and decided to gift to my psychiatrist when he next sees me. It's called 'Beach in Auckland', based on a photo I took in September, 2023. I also wrote a letter on the back. I hope he appreciates it!

@Shaz51 @Oaktree @BPDSurvivor @The-red-centaur @Just @Ru-bee @Healandlove @MJG017 @PeppyPatti @Blackcloud

'Beach in Auckland', painted by Spirit_Healer on 02/02/2025

In response to: Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

@Spirit_Healer Nice, I like the beach too.

In response to: Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

That's absolutely beautiful @Spirit_Healer . I'm sure he will definitely appreciate it ❤️

In response to: Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

Re: Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

the painting is so beautiful!! @Spirit_Healer

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