OutofIdeasCasual Contributor
What if the person does not recognise they need help?
Hi I am new here so not sure how it works. My son seems to absolutely hate me. Blames me for everything, not supporting him, not listening to him etc etc. He is now 30 and spent most of his high school years either in detention or suspended. He went down the drink driving, drug path, stealing from me, my bank account, any jewelry anything he could get his hands on. He stole from his grandparents, brother to buy pot and junk food. He has not been able to hold a job since he left school - 6 months seems to be max. After that he always finds something or someone to blame things on and cause a scene until he is let go. He seemed to clean up his act from about age 20, found the gym and gave up pot but slowly over the years these traits and patterns of behavior seem to be on a roller coaster. Now he doesnt return texts or calls, he doesnt show up to weddings, engagements, birthdays and then blames everyone for not reaching out to him when he needed them. He has cut off all his friends of 25 years, his brother, his father, his cousins and now me. He lives with me but wont talk to me. He lives like a pig in his room with dirty dishes, clothes all over the floor, smokes pot in his room, no sheets on the bed, rubbish everywhere. I have asked him to move out to make him responsible, but he says he wants to stay here to make me miserable, he refers to me by first name because I dont deserve to be "mum". It is gut wrenching.
He was born a blue baby and needed resuscitation, had lots of learning problems but overall a very happy baby and child. We are a very social family with friends and family. He was a star soccer play and any sport he tried. Our home had an open door policy where his friends would often stay over for days. His brother doesnt understand and says that he couldnt of asked for a better mother. I have many friends for 30, 40 and even 50 years and he keeps telling me that they will work me out one day just like he did. He recently said he is having dark thoughts so I am very concerned for his well being and possibly others. Ive tried everything to get him to talk to someone but he thinks Im the one that needs help then abuses me and slams the door in my face.
Does anyone relate to this at all either as a parent or the child experiencing these issues?
