Trying to beat the hopelessness

I'm trying to keep fighting, any glimmer of hope I get just gets crushed everytime. My head says protect yourself, you can't expect help anymore, no one is coming. You're not good enough, or they don't hear you. I don't really know either way all I get is turned away and I don't know how you are expected to finally be brave and desperate enough to to reach out and to only be constantly declined. I am really losing my fight. I am tired and running out of options. I spend hours on google and nothing new comes. I sit on my phone looking at my contacts hoping I've missed a potential support and there is no one. My hope is depleting. I just don't want to anymore really. Even this sane mh support I've tried since November and they keep not replying. I get so close then I must get lost in their system. I swear I have a sign on my head saying just leave here, don't help this one.