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I want to ask for help, I don’t know how

LwaxanaTroiContributor27 Jan 2025, 7:49 am AEDT

I want to ask for help, I don’t know how

I’ve struggled with my mental health for a long time now (over two decades) and am becoming weary of this battle. I feel like the sharp increase of s ideation lately might have a medical cause. (My low blood pressure, frequent severe nausea, constant headaches, fatigue, dizziness and diarrhea certainly aren’t helping me feel like sticking around)

but I’m an immigrant, financially stressed, and my sponsorship partner gets angry with me any time I bring up feelings of sadness or inadequacy, and I’m left alone for long periods of time which really hurts. If I mention the ideation he won’t even want to be in the same room as me, and I feel like I’m just taking up space in his apartment although I pay my half of rent.
I can’t afford medical care, and I’m at a point I just want to push through as many hospitality shifts as I can make my body do and hope to move somewhere that MAiD is legal. I’ve told him this and his response was to give me the silent treatment and refuse to sleep in bed next to me. It really hurts.
I have no support system here, and no friends.
back home is turning into a hellscape I can’t return to. Not that there’s anything there for me, or anyone who cares. I don’t have any family left and my friends mostly fell off talking to me or caring after I moved here in ‘22.

I just feel so alone and want to know that this pain will end. That somehow things will be okay and everything will be worth it. I just don’t see it right now.

4 replies

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In response to: I want to ask for help, I don’t know how

LwaxanaTroiContributor27 Jan 2025, 7:50 am AEDT

Re: I want to ask for help, I don’t know how

I guess I want to know if crowdfunding to travel for MAiD is ethical, and how one would go about doing that.

In response to: I want to ask for help, I don’t know how

babysharkSenior Contributor27 Jan 2025, 8:01 am AEDT

Re: I want to ask for help, I don’t know how

Hi @LwaxanaTroi

I am sorry to hear you are experiencing this. It sounds like you are in an emotionally abusive relationship- which in Australia is classed as a form of Domestic Violence. Have you spoken to anyone from a family violence service before? It sounds like you have tried a lot regarding MH but I suggest you try out 1800 RESPECT Home | 1800RESPECT if you haven't already.

Also if your sponsorship partner is abusing you and you are concerned speaking up about it will adversely affect your visa please still reach out or try the Red Cross as there are ways you can be supported without your visa being revoked.

I hope you are able to be supported this way, and again sorry if you have already tried the above but I would be remiss to not mention it!

best,

babyshark (moderator)

In response to: Re: I want to ask for help, I don’t know how

LwaxanaTroiContributor27 Jan 2025, 8:16 am AEDT

Re: I want to ask for help, I don’t know how

Hi @babyshark

thanks for the info! But he certainly isn’t abusive in any way at all! I think he is overwhelmed and understandably frustrated at my continued failure to get better. I’ve brought this upon myself by not getting better fast enough after my last attempt on my life in May of last year. It’s completely on me. I’ve somehow manipulated him into thinking I’m a worthwhile person/partner and that is just catching up to me now. My physical pain and my anxiety make it difficult to earn as much as I used to working, and I understand that puts undue pressure and stress on the relationship as well. I really just want to relive the pressure on him by taking care of things myself, but I can’t yet afford to do what needs to be done.

In response to: Re: I want to ask for help, I don’t know how

dehahaSenior Contributor27 Jan 2025, 11:02 pm AEDT

Re: I want to ask for help, I don’t know how

Hi @LwaxanaTroi

Ummm....you did NOT cause this and it is NOT your fault that you are still struggling.

Mental health issues are exactly the same as any other medical condition.

If you were diagnosed with Diabetes, as an example, you would have to have lifestyle changes, diet changes, medication daily etc. Having a mental health problem is exactly the same thing. It takes time and probable assistance ( possible medication, psychology, support services).

I understand that your struggling financially and finding it difficult to pay for medical assistance.

Have you considered calling lifeline to see if they can help you find some free mental health support in your area?

Just know that you are not alone in your struggle. Most of the people in the forum will know exactly how you are feeling. And sometimes, just coming in here and having a chat can be helpful. Take care of yourself because you deserve it.

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