ADHD and Menopause

I am a 53 year old female who believes they have ADHD and is going through mental and physical changes of menopause. I am suffering really bad and there is no help. This journey of mine started 2-3 years ago when my daughter wanted to be assessed for ADHD, and upon doing research, decided that I had it too. I have been masking all of my life and all of a sudden it is just too hard to mask anymore. I have spoken to Dr's about my issues for about 10-15 years being fobbed off every time. I told my Dr (1) that I thought I had ADHD and he basically said "Your not fidgeting and your sitting still.... you don't have it". DONE!. No, oh well I will refer you to someone, just a flat out, you don't have it. I changed Dr's after that.

Within the last year and a half, my husband has been angry at me and basically told me that I can leave (the marriage) if I want to. WTF, we have been married for 20 odd years and he wants to just throw that away.

I complained about chest pains to him one day and he didn't believe me and basically said, "see a Dr then", so I did. 230/107 was my blood pressure and I was told to go straight to emergency where we sat for 5 hours why my husband slept in the chair. I am now on blood pressure medication and can't take anti-inflammatories. I am now suffering with inflammation of my joints and can't take anything to help. I had plantar fasciitis which took 2 years to disappear. My husband had a sore foot one day and said, "I think I have what you had"... 1 week later it was gone (hmmmm). Just recently I had diverticulitis, inflammation of the bowel.

Just before Christmas I go running off to the Dr's again for tests and scans to find out what it was (Diverticulitis). I had to go on antibiotics for 10 days over Christmas and New Year. Oh, and guess what my husband said.... "I have lived with that for the last 20 years". I told my new Dr (3) that and he laughed so hard, he apologised to me for laughing but I am glad that he knows the truth of how my husband is treating me. When I told my husband I had shoulder pain... you guessed it, I have that too.

After my 1st Dr told me that I did not have ADHD I saw a female Dr who specialises in mental health, surely someone who can help me, right. Dr (2) has been told several times that I believe I have ADHD and she has never taken it any further BUT from what I have been reading, ADHD gets worse when you are going through menopause. I started seeing a mental health person (not ADHD related) that I found in my area and I will say they annoyed the daylights out of me but I started understanding that most of my depression was not me. I started to understand what had happened to me and how I absorbed all of that negative stuff years ago as a kid and I was hanging on to a lot of it. We were starting to go through release of the stress and everything and she moved. I was given another person and she followed the guideline for every meeting when I just wanted to talk. I was told to take a stress test where I scored very high and she had to ask me if I was suicidal. I have thought about it several times but I would never go through with it. Anyway, I didn't feel comfortable with her so I left. I thought my Dr (2) would understand what I was going through being a mental health Dr but no. The last time I saw her, I could not get out of her office fast enough.

She knew I was seeing a mental health person, she knew I was stressed as I asked her for anti-depressants (which she gave me and I no longer take).

Anyway, the ADHD and menopause has made the depression so bad. I am finally being treated for menopause and the inflammation, I have finally found a Dr (3) that listens. As I have high blood pressure it is a waste of time being properly tested for ADHD as I can't have any of the medication to help with it. I am on herbs to help thanks to my new Dr but after 50 years, I can just put up with it. I am hoping with the menopause being treated the ADHD will lessen because that I can put up with.

I hit a new low 2 days ago and I sat in the bottom of the shower crying. I decided that I now understand that when women have a fall or have a medical episode, they quite often don't last long (you know what I mean). The medical system don't look after women, we are quite often overlooked and ignored. As a person who has been told, while growing up, that I am not good enough, I will never do anything with my life. Told that a woman’s place is in the home looking after her husband and raising the kids. Being fobbed off by the Dr's and being told there is nothing wrong with you... it is all in your head.

I am tired and had enough. I am sick of being ignored, pushed aside or walked all over because other people think they are better than you.

I just want to rest.

I just want to be loved.

I want to be listened to and treated with respect.