I don't know what's wrong with me

Hey,

I joined Sane and sent a referral because I just don't know what to do any more. I've had agoraphobia for a while and can't force myself to leave the house at all. Lately I avoid the phone as well. I have two close friends I feel comfortable hanging out with on discord to play games or watch something together and that's about it. I couldn't even force myself to pick up the phone for the SANE welcome appointment and cancelled my referral by email. The truth is if I was well off I wouldn't care, the only thing I'm worried about is what I'm going to do in a year or two when my lease runs out and I'm too mentally crippled to work or do anything about it. My last relationship I was physically and mentally abused constantly for a bout 6 years and didn't have the confidence to just leave (I'm a guy she was a woman), that was 5 years ago when I finally ended it and I swore off relationships all together at that point. Not long after my cat passed away and I became completely closed off. There have been some okay times where I could force myself to go for walks but it's completely degenerated into struggling to force myself to even wheel the bins out or because I don't want anyone seeing me. I'll probably be too anxious to reply to anything so if anyone does comment I apologise in advance don't take it personally but I'll try, it was hard enough posting this but it was good to write it down and get it out. I hope everyone else has better luck than me ❤️