What am I supposed to do

@Former-Member at least we can laugh about it.

Oh, I totally recommend, I have like a giant, like bigger than 2 shoe boxes full of swimming toys and gadgets and kinaesthetic games and stuff. Even if i don't have access to that stuff I stim by rocking or some people pace or flap arms and stuff.

Arg I'm swimming in typos

I like never leave the house without some form of squishy or fluffy thing. My fav right now is a little unicorn, it has squishy slime and ball stuff inside so it's super squishy and stretchy. And it's a unicorn, I love unicorns lol. Gotta have them give me some of their magic.

They help me so I stay grounded and don't panic in public. @Former-Member I'm actually stimming right now with rocking and humming.

@The-red-centaur auto correct drives me nuts sometimes.

I have things that I fidget with but not for very long. Maybe I'll have to find some things and see if it can help. I fidget with my hands when I'm at the shops and I start getting anxious.

@The-red-centaur i have this weird toy that's like a spiral thing, it's hard to explain but if you hold it a certain way it's incredibly satisfying to play with and i find myself fidgeting with it for ages.

I have heaps of fidget toys around here but didn't really think of using them to possibly help to calm down.

@Former-Member there is actually a bunch of research in how it can help calm us down, especially if your on the autist/adhd spectrum.

Since I was diagnosed i no longer cared about stimming in public and that made my anxiety go way when I went out, coz I was like I'm just being me, im too stressed to conform to the world so I'll just be over here doing my things, bouncing round if need be, and it helped me stop panicking when I went out. Plus having my fidget stuff to focus on made me less focus on shit the world around me is.

@The-red-centaur I've never been tested for anything but recently I've really been thinking about the possibility of being on the spectrum. It would honestly make so much sense with the way I am.

I love how you are comfortable being you and so you should be. Noone should conform to how the world thinks they should be. We are all different and that's nothing to be ashamed of in any way. Keep being you, you are amazing 🙂

@Former-Member i felt like that for a bit too. I wasn't diagnosed til I was 31. Looking back I'm like everything just made sense now. The way I responded to stress and stuff out of my control especially. Mix abuse in and there was a recipe for disaster. Getting diagnosed and finding a bunch of neurodiverse people like me to hang out with and play board games with, were the things that started to shift my mental health in the right direction for the first time in my life.

@The-red-centaur I'm hoping i can at some stage look at getting assessed but I don't have the money to do it so it would mean trying to go through the public system and that's an extremely long wait so it may not even be worth it.

That's amazing that you were able to find people to hang out with and be accepted. It definitely helps with your mental health knowing that you aren't alone and there's other people just like you.

@Former-Member i totally get you.

You could always put your name in this list, but also pursue other treatment options while you wait for that assessment.

Having a formal diagnosis isn't everything though. If you have traits or symptoms of the spectrum you could try to research it and see cheap options in addressing those symptoms which it effects or ways of managing your tolerance.

And finding out that I wasn't the problem was huge. All my life I thought I was defective, a burden, a waste, etc, I always thought there was too much wrong me. Now I'm more self compassionate and accepting and know it's the world's problem now mine. My brain just works different and that being different is not bad.