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Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm

What if I just never get better?

JlolSenior Contributor08 Jan 2025, 12:57 pm AEDT

What if I just never get better?

TW: SH, euthanasia

I've had some sort of depression (trauma I guess) since I was 7.

Content/trigger warning

I started having s***al thoughts when I was 13.

Started self h*rming at 14.

Saw my first counsellor at 15.

Started taking medication at 18.

I started having s***al thoughts when I was 13. Started self h*rming at 14. Saw my first counsellor at 15. Started taking medication at 18.

I'm almost 40 now and none of the many, many, many counsellors, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, nutritionists, dietitians, apps, websites, breathing exercises, mindfulness and meditation exercises, supplements, medications, hospitalisations, and TMS changed anything let alone had a positive impact.

So, yeah, what if it never changes?

Content/trigger warning

I wonder if this condition would warrant euthanasia?

2 replies

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In response to: What if I just never get better?

Ru-beeModerator08 Jan 2025, 4:34 pm AEDT

Re: What if I just never get better?

Hi @Jlol

It sounds like you've tried a whole raft of different things and it would be understandably frustrating and disheartening not to feel as though any of them have helped. It is fair enough that this would bring up these questions

I don't have the answers here, I can't know whether you're going to find something that works for you, and I can't tell you what you should do if that's something you never find. I'm always going to encourage others to hold on and to try to hold onto hope that things can start to feel better, because as long as we're alive there remains the possibility for change.

In saying that, I do understand wanting there to be away out after such a long time of struggling. It's natural to want some reprieve from that.

So, while I can't have the answers, I can tell you that as long as you or others are willing to try another day, we'll be here to offer support to try to make that day a little bit more okay.

In response to: Re: What if I just never get better?

tymeModerator09 Jan 2025, 7:02 pm AEDT

Re: What if I just never get better?

Hi there @Jlol ,

You've raised a very controversial topic here. No doubt it has clear importance in your life, and probably in the lives of others.

I hear how hard things are for you at the moment.

Whilst the forums encourage members to share and connect with others in topics of interest, SANE forums is a space to provide hope and encouragement, with a focus on recovery. Whilst topics such as this are important and deserve discussion, we must be mindful about how it can impact the community, particularly for some of our more vulnerable members.

We encourage you to find other channels to share your thoughts around VAD.

This thread is now locked.

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