I think my friend has schizophrenia, however will not seek professional help.

Hi Rotor,

It really is a tough one, when I tried to get through to my friend, they didn't really want to hear what I had to say. I tried reminding them of the good times we had with our children etc. Didn't work.

I reached out to their family members, they've tried confronting her nicely, offering her help etc. Unfortunately, it just hasn't gone anywhere, as she doesn't think anything is wrong.

I now, just follow her on social media, to make sure she isn't going to harm herself or someone else. I am now also a big part of her child's life since she isn't at the moment.

For me that's my way now I guess of helping.

Just remember to look after yourself first.

Hopefully your friend has other people looking out for them.

Hi @Rotor and welcome to the forums

This is a really tough position to be in, especially given they are living so far from you.

To me it seems as though your question at the end has two parts:

1. to call them out and refute what they have said about you in regards to you not being a good friend

2. to express your concerns about their behaviour and broach the topic of schizophrenia

These are both pretty delicate conversations to have, and I'm wondering what outcomes you're hoping for. Perhaps these are two separate conversations to had at different times?

While I completely understand feeling wronged or hurt by their comments towards you and wanting to set the record straight, I wonder if they are currently in a frame of mind to take this in at the moment. It might also make having a conversation about their mental health more difficult if they become defensive.

Hi @Ru-bee

Thanks for your reply.

Re "calling them out", I think it's completely fair enough for someone to say if they feel you haven't been supportive when they needed you or if there was anything else that might have hurt them, I would want to be called out on that and be a better friend. In this instance it was a list that went on and on, doesn't tally with what other friends would say and my memory of all the times I was there for them and helped them with various things.

In terms of outcomes, for point 1 it's mainly about reminding them about the times I was actually there for them. And I think I brought it up in my post because of something Anders said about wishing people had called out the problematic behaviour. So recognition really on their part. And for point 2 for them to seek help with a view to stabilising their state. I'm no expert on this matter but from what I know from my friend in Europe there is no healing as such just medication to stabilise the condition. In their case they were living life in a paranoid state believing they were a famous artist and that paparazzi were constantly following them. I visited and stayed with them after their diagnosis and although life wasn't easy they were getting support.

For the friend I'm talking about now, I know they have lost a lot of old mutual friends because they just regarded the behaviour as "mad" - not my words. Apparently they are married now but I have no idea even if that's true as I have no other contact with them ie social media etc.

At the end of the day if they want to believe what they have said about me that's their decision, when it happened the first time I was really hurt by it but I'm a lot securer in myself now and I don't see them anyway but as I said in my original post just because I don't see them it doesn't mean I don't want to help if I can.

As you say, both conversations would be very delicate and as @MistSalJ said they might not be receptive to hearing it anyway. So do I just leave it alone as everyone else I know has done?