supporting an alcoholic family member

Hello and welcome @MorningStar1

What an amazing thing you're doing for your son. He's very lucky to have such wonderfully supportive parents who have been able to step up and help him when he felt ready.

While I hear how glad you're feeling for him to be able to acknowledge that he needs help, and that he wants to enjoy his life without alcohol, I do also want to acknowledge that this is quite a big thing to be taking on between you and your husband. It's not always easy to support our loved ones, and it's not easy to see them struggle. How are you and your husband going so far? Aside from reaching out here (which is a great step to have taken), do you have any other supports to help the two of you through this?

Hey @MorningStar1 just a lil tip, if you want other members to be notified that you've responded, you can tag them - use the @ symbol and a drop down will appear, and you can choose their name. If their name isn't there, you can type it out and it should then appear for you to select, then it will show up in blue, like this: @Ru-bee

More How-to here!!

Hi @MorningStar1

How did your son's doctor appointment go today?

Yesterday sounds like it was really challenging, but good on you for being firm with your boundaries. I hope that today has been a little easier

Thankfully my husband who is a pharmacist, came with our son to the doctor and he was able to get a script some medication [edited by moderator], which is making my son feel less anxious. Hubby stayed home from work yesterday to help me with our son and today our son seems more stable. Hoping that tomorrow's phone interview with the Rehab will get him to treatment soon @Ru-bee

I'm so glad to hear that things are looking more stable right now @MorningStar1. Again, it sounds like your son is just so lucky to have you and your husband supporting him through this.

Please feel free to keep us updated on his interview tomorrow. I'll be hoping it all goes well!

@Ru-bee

The phone interview went really well. We just have to wait for the outcome of our son's court case on Monday. We are telling our son if he shows remorse and admits guilt, he may avoid jail and be ordered to do rehab. However, if he rambles on and interrupts and shows a defiant attitude, he may well be sent to jail. I will accompany him to court. My husband and I are reconciled to the possibility of him going to jail, which he somehow thinks is not going to happen, despite the legal advice we received of that distinct possibility.

We got some support from my brother last night, and by friends today taking us out to breakfast. I hope we can manage our son until he hears a verdict. Unfortunately he has just told us that he wanted to end hit life but [edited by moderator] because he didn't want to have his daughter come to his funeral and thought of us. We think it was the dope he smoked after he found a bong he had hidden away from our house. At the moment he has been ok, but its the evenings that are difficult.

Thankfully rehab will help him find accommodation when he finishes it, and he may well want to help others who are addicted, as he gets on with people and has a great heart for others. Or after jail, we do not want him to stay with us any longer, but we will assist him to find housing. Our greatest hope is in Jesus. We know the success rate of rehab is only about 12%, but over 80% with rehab with the 'Jesus factor'. So whilst we do grieve about his current state, we know that our God can change even the most hopeless looking cases. We know people who were addicts be radically freed through the power of Jesus. So we are not despairing. @Ru-bee

There is certainly a lot of different factors at play here @MorningStar1

I'm glad that your brother and your friends have been supportive, and I hope they can continue to rally around you during this difficult time.

I'll be thinking of you in the lead up to, and on Monday. Really hoping for a positive outcome for you all

Thank you! We have had some more positive news- our son rang detox after him saying he wanted to go to go to hospital to try to get into detox quicker. I said he had tried that before and it didn't work. So he rang the Alcohol and Drug Service (detox) and was very honest about his needs and desperation and they said he could come in on Tuesday (after court)! We have also had our first very good evening with him tonight, I don't know why, maybe the anti-anxiety meds is starting to reduce his anxiety and therefore he has been asking for alcohol less often. [edited by moderator] His eyes were not puffy and he was swearing far less and generally more pleasant. @Ru-bee