I’m bored.. + some random thoughts

@Jynx yeah, I’m definitely with you on the very last part you mentioned about if our characters are having big emotional moments then that means we have stuff we need to process, for me in that case would definitely be my mental illness symptoms in terms of the emotions I feel on a regular basis as well as some of the self hatred, fixed-mindset thoughts and intrusive suicidal thoughts.

Pretty cool option for introspection haha hey @Blackcloud

Your characters ever go hang out in other author's worlds? Like fighting monsters w Buffy or spinning some magic in Middle Earth?

@Jynx nah I’ve never had any of those thoughts/imaginations with my characters I don’t think..🤔

by the way I’ve volunteered this morning and it was good. I’m about to have a phone session with a peer worker from SANE within less than 2 more hours lol

by the way, do you journal by any chance? I started journaling since last December while I was in Korea and since then I’ve been doing it quite regularly and I’m pretty proud of myself for doing that 🙂

@Blackcloud yessss nice one!! Hope it goes well!!

I do journal, but I do so in a bit of an unusual way!! I struggle to journal because I have dysgraphia, which means that my mind always moves SO MUCH FASTER than I can physically write. Whenever try to write emotionally, particularly if my emotions are running high, I get SO frustrated when I can't keep up.

But over the last 8 months or so, discovered a whole new way of journalling!! Voice memos! Means I can ramble on as much as I like and it's all there. Feels a little weird at first but I actually think it's been sooooo helpful for me!

@rav3n

hiiiii @Blackcloud how's your night going?

@rav3n @I thought you wanted to know what my answers were to the questions you asked me regarding the daydreaming stuff I mentioned to you and Jynx about yesterday, that’s why I tagged you here…

sometimes i miss notifications so really appreciate that tag! @Blackcloud definitely relate to daydreaming with my celeb crushes too. quite interesting how our daydreams often relate to something we're struggling with our inner-self right?

like even how you mentioned the thing about scenarios involving emotional men/men crying - i wonder if this relates to your emotional needs? or perhaps how you feel about showing emotions?

sometimes i overanalyse my daydreams, especially if the scenarios have been repetitive. other times i let it be and just have fun with it!

@rav3n @I guess you could say it does actually relate to my emotional needs 😅 also, every other person (no matter if it’s male or female) that I used to daydream about in the past (but not anymore) I used to also daydream about them crying too and it’s been like that ongoing for me for over a decade now haha.

also, I do prefer if men can be more the type to be more understanding and caring towards someone at an emotional level (such as being empathetic) and not the ones that are the complete opposite.

“opposite”

It actually irritates me seeing 98%-99% of men I’ve encountered in real life (including my male family members) that actually do this. And I wish more men can break that typical tough/stoic/emotionless guy stereotype for goodness sake…

Like I can’t stand it if I were to get a boyfriend who would be like that too like OH HELL NO….

@rav3n @also, other than the post I’ve wrote above, I can’t get over the fact that my mum wants me to be with someone (like an actual boyfriend/future husband) I think before my late 20s because in her fricken mindset, she considers being in a relationship or getting married around that age group and in your 30s to be “too late” and I really wish I can change the way she thinks or she changes that mindset because that’s the reason why I can’t stop thinking about it and she did say that she will get my aunty to assign a guy to me that is of the same ethnicity as us from our ethnic country which I’m guessing it’ll happen either next year or the year after. FYI, I’m 23. Now, I’m already really scared and worried about having to be with someone especially when they’re someone whose from their own ethnic country mainly due to different values and beliefs that they have since they were born and raised there, and that’s where my main problem/issue with that is. Also, there are other reasons why I really do NOT want to be in a relationship but yet my mum (and my dad as well I know) wants me to be in a relationship just because of the whole “whose gonna look after you when you’re old and when you’re gonna have serious health problems and die later on” type of thing AS WELL AS… having someone else I can live with as well…? As my parents don’t want me to live alone forever….

everytime I think about this, I usually break down (crying) as a result and it’s mainly because of the fact that my freedom was definitely taken away from my mum (who she always considers herself to be a “caring” and “good” mother to me…of course she does 😑😑😑😑) and the fact that she and my dad can’t even change their fricken mindset on this unlike people of other cultures who share the same mindset as I do when it comes to being single and the issues of being in a relationship. I personally have never been in a relationship before but I am already aware of….the problems that goes on in relationships including the abuse parts and disagreements and stuff.

And yes, I’ve been telling my psychologist about this whole issue too and I plan to continue on telling her about it because this is an ongoing issue that I have now anyways so…

@Jynx