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Self Harming Child

Ruby14Casual Contributor29 Dec 2024, 1:17 am AEDT

Self Harming Child

I have a 12yo autistic girl (lvl 2) self harming and it seems nothing I'm doing is keeping her safe.

TW: Self harm

Content/trigger warning

I locked away all rope, even twine, all sharp things, all safety pins, you name it, especially meds, even the gardening things like axe and scissors and secateurs. All of which she's used. I keep the key on my person all day and by my bed at night. She broke the last cabinet that held these and the new situation is not able to be broken into by bolt cutters or heavy duty tools. So she has taken to breaking glasses, cups, today she broke her full length mirror. I have to stay within earshot at all times as I can't keep every piece of crockery locked up at all times as I'm running out of room already. She is on meds, around 4 or 5 weeks into antidepressants. She gets violent when I try to search her room. I have had to call police to get her to hand over a weapon once, that was a saw from the garden.

Obviously I'm tired. But I need to know, if anyone else has experience, should I limit my crockery and lock it up unless being used? I want to keep her safe. Some have said not to bother with any further measures and don't believe she is seriously suicidal but I don't think they know her.

TW: Self harm

Content/trigger warning

She tried to open the car door, took her seatbelt off, on the freeway, on our way to see her father (who she wanted to see) because she wanted me to turn off music I had on and I refused because she still won't tell me why.

She has PDA. So I feel this is just another equalising thing for her and since she can't seem to say why it 'triggers' her I feel like she simply wants things how she wants them, and does not like my music, and wants hers on again. Anyway, what can I do? I'm going to call camhs or go to the dr on Monday.

3 replies

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In response to: Self Harming Child

Stock1055New Contributor29 Dec 2024, 2:54 am AEDT

Re: Self Harming Child

You’re facing a tough situation with your 12-year-old daughter, who is self-harming and struggling to express her feelings. You’ve locked away dangerous items but still worry about her safety. It’s good that you plan to reach out to a doctor or mental health service for support and guidance.

In response to: Self Harming Child

chibamSenior Contributor29 Dec 2024, 4:16 am AEDT

Re: Self Harming Child

I doubt I can offer any help with your big problems; but regarding the music in the car, would it be possible to buy noise-cancelling headphones? That way, she could listen to whatever she wants to listen to, and be completely deaf to whatever you want to listen to.

A peace offering like that might go a long way toward repairing your relationship.

In response to: Re: Self Harming Child

tymeModerator03 Jan 2025, 7:50 pm AEDT

Re: Self Harming Child

Hey @Ruby14 , How are you going?

I hear you. I hear how challenging it is. I'm glad you have reached out. In a way, anything that is remotely 'controlling' just doesn't seem to work with PDA. Unfortunately, the 'traditional' methods of what works with ASD can just set a person with PDA off.

It's definitely important to contact CAMHS.

Have you been able to get through.

It's also important to get support for yourself. I hear how tiring it is. Does she have NDIS? Are you able to get respite care even for a few hours?

Welcome @Stock1055

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