Setting Boundaries With Family Member

Hi everyone,

I have a difficult member of my family who causes a lot of arguments and tension between the whole family. They often message me, complaining about myself or other family members. We recently had an issue booking a cruise and since then, my family member has been complaining every day, although the issue has been resolved. My psychologist suggested I say, "You need to stop talking about this. The issue has been resolved. Any lingering issues should be sorted out with mum and dad."

I also got the approval of our parents before sending the message to make sure it was polite but firm. My psychiatrist has also been encouraging me to tell my family member to defer to our parents regarding issues they have.

However, this made them angrier. They called the response rude, abusive and dismissive. I'm not sure where to go from here or how to set clear boundaries. All my attempts at doing as my psychologist and psychiatrist recommended have failed to work.

For example, they suggested I stay in my room to avoid this family member, but they barge in anyways and refuse to leave. I'm bed bound and cannot close the door myself. Refusing to respond makes them angrier and more likely to trigger my seizures. Telling them the issue has been resolved does not work and telling them to sort it out with mum and dad got the response, "It's their issue to sort out. They're the problem, not me."

Can someone please suggest anything that would help? I'm looking into out of home care options, if anyone can suggest something for severely disabled and young people? Thank you.