Any advice

I honestly just feel so lost right now and would appreciate any advice

There is this girl that I met for the first time around six years ago, and ever since I met her i’ve liked her. Just everything about her is so perfect in my eyes. We have been eachothers closest friends at point in our lives, including right now, and have even dated for a small amount of time which ended due to her loosing feelings at the start of our friendship, however my feelings for her never faded. We then continued to have an on and off periods, mainly for her i think, of liking eachother and not for around 2 years.

I had a friend who i’ll call mike who also liked this girl, we never spoke about it but it was like there was just always this competition between us for her. And one night after talking to my two closest friends who i stupidly listened to, i decided to just give up and let mike have it. (It sounds bad i know like she is some kind of trophy but this is just the best way i can explain it)

for the next 2 years mike and her were in an on and off relationship and every second off it killed me, i tried countless times to move on and just find someone else and sometimes i thought it worked, but all it would take is just one small conversation at a party or over the phone ect. and all the feelings would be back instantly. Every single time.

Specifically at a more recent party, I hadn’t talked to this girl in quite sometime, we didn’t hate eachother or anything it was just that I decided to not talk to her out of respect to her and mikes relationship and my own wellbeing i guess. She was clearly drunk and i was in a room sitting on the ground talking to some people about random things when she comes in and sits on the ground directly in front of me. I said hi and just basic small talk because i already knew that if i had a conversation with her that night, all of my feelings would resurface. Long story short we basically talked for the rest of the party about how we don’t talk anymore and her problems with her relationship with mike. And as i suspected, all of it came back all at once.

Since that night we have been talking again as friends and recently her and mike broke up, not under my influence or anything i actually advised her to talk to him about her feelings before doing anything like breaking up with him but mike just never wanted to talk about it. Anyways we have been close recently and there are just these small signs that i’m picking up on that maybe she likes me, I just really don’t know.

Here is the main dilemma i’m in currently. I could either go for her, loose all of my friends in the process (and i know i will because this has happened to someone who used to be in my friend group and they’re not anymore because of it) and potentially not even get with her and just torture myself for more years but I might have a chance to be with her, or not try and just be her friend but have mike not respect me as much as he used to and influencing others opinion about me (i have already talked to mike about me and her being friends after the breakup which he said he was “fine” with) and still torture myself as i will never be with her just friends but also the friendship aspect could be enough for me and i can find someone else. Or i can just stop being friends with her and waste six years of my life and any relationship experience and have friends but loose my closest friend.