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Feeling totally kaput

QueenieSenior Contributor30 Jan 2017, 10:46 pm AEDT

Feeling totally kaput

That pretty much sums it up.

I just feel totally overwhelmed. I don't know what to do or who to turn to. I was supposed to see my psychiatrist on Wednesday but it's been bumped back at the doctor's request. I feel desperate. I was referred back to my GP, who in turn refers me back to my psychiatrist. I'm scared. I have admitted to my gf I am having self destructive thoughts and have been for a while now. I don't know what to do now. I'd call a helpline, but from bad experiences from them, I'm very reluctant to.

My respite is in jeopardy now if I am not seen as in need of help from my doctor. I freeze when I get in there with him. I always do, no matter how crazy I am. I see him as a major authority figure and I am always terrified of authority figures, even the tellers in the bank I'm petrified of as they control my money!

I feel terrible. Really terrible.

Kaput.

3 replies

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In response to: Feeling totally kaput

lolaSenior Contributor30 Jan 2017, 10:56 pm AEDT

Re: Feeling totally kaput

Hi Queenie

Lola here, one of the moderators.

Sorry to hear you are feeling'kaput' tonight! And I am concerned that you are having self destructive thoughts for awhile now.

Despite you previous bad experience with helplines I am asking to give them a call now...this is important for you now.

Do you have someone you can talk to? Unfortunately we are not a crisis service, but some places you can call now for support are;

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

take care

lola

In response to: Re: Feeling totally kaput

AppleblossomSenior Contributor30 Jan 2017, 11:04 pm AEDT

Re: Feeling totally kaput

white collar anxiety can be a big problem .. I had never heard of it .. but once my old doctor ... explained it and was always careful about taking blood pressure .. etc ... that I was not uptight cos of him .. it increased my sense of trust in him.

Have you heard of the the idea of cognitive fusion .. when we mistakenly think we are our thoughts ... it can help to try and back off and observe or draw or write about your actual .. thinking process around the SI .. it helped me to journal about it and then SHUT the book ... yes they came back .. but it is a mangement tool .. those pesky thoughts need a firm hand ..

you are more of an expert on yourself .. than the doctors .. they really can only do so much.

Take good care @Queenie

In response to: Feeling totally kaput

NikNikSenior Contributor02 Feb 2017, 5:46 pm AEDT

Re: Feeling totally kaput

Hi @Queenie

I've had experiences where I freeze when seeing a Dr and can relate.
On top of that, I sometimes forget what they have told me - which is probably important.

I ended up taking a note pad in with me with a list of things I wanted to talk about and also write notes.

Not only did this help me remember stuff, for some reason it made it less intense... I was just reading a list of 'stuff' to the Dr.

I'm okay with it now - and don't take a notepad - but it helped me so much at the time.

I hope your appointment goes okay and you get across what you want to cover.

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