Life and trauma

@Former-Member It's weird, because I've always had trouble sleeping when I had things on my mind. But I learnt tricks to get to sleep when it happened. Now though with everything going on and the all the stress, anxiety, and depression... none of them worked anymore.

It's so scary when you feel powerless, like someone else is controlling your mind. I still haven't learned how to deal with it, but rather found ways to not let those thoughts stress me as much, but i think that's more down to just gaining some level of acceptance over time than anything else.

@MJG017 same here, sleep has never come easy for me but things are so much worse now.

It's definitely a scary feeling of not being in control of your own mind and body. I try so hard to not let my thoughts get the better of me but I'm just not strong enough to fight them.

My movie has finished and now I need something else to watch. But in the meantime I'm trying to check in with lifeline but not having any luck getting through. Really doesn't help when things feel so intense as they do and you just need to not be so alone in that moment.

@Former-Member I'm sorry you're having trouble getting through to lifeline. I guess a lot of people really struggle this time of year, so i imagine it's one of the harder times to get through. I hope you can get through soon. I know you said it's helping you to chat like this, but actually talking to someone and hearing someones voice would be more helpful I would have thought.

You said that you're not strong enough to fight the thoughts, which I get. But i think it's also helpful to remember that it doesn't mean you're not strong, just more of the amount and intensity of those thoughts. I know it's a small distinction, but an important one because I think it helps in not being harder than you need to be on yourself.

@MJG017 i don't do talking on the phone so the chat is my go to. But I'm not able to get through at all and I don't like it.

That's a good way to look at it, these thoughts are definitely so intense and incredibly overwhelming right now.

@Former-Member Well, i hope you can keep trying and get some success getting through soon.

I think when you have so much going on and things are so overwhelming, all you can really do it try to find small things to change. Just to try and lighten that load, even if it's just a little bit. Every little change and every little win can add up over time.

@MJG017 i still can't get through.

I'm trying to shift my focus but right now my whole body and brain is working against me.

@Former-Member It's so frustrating not to be able to get through to a service like that when you need them!

I, like anyone who has read your posts, can see how hard you are trying. But it may seem like it's a losing battle right now, but I think a lot of people would really struggle to do what you are doing right now. I know that probably doesn't help very much at the moment but a times like this, sometimes just being able to keep your head above water is an amazing achievement.

@MJG017 it is indeed very frustrating. I've never had so much trouble getting through but of course it happens at a time when I need it the most.

I'm trying so hard to just keep going right now.

@Former-Member I know. I wish I could do more to help you though this. Do sleeping tables or anything work for you? I was given some earlier in the year, but I didn't find they helped me very much.

@MJG017 i can't take anything. I previously took too much medication as part of a suicide attempt so I don't trust myself with medication.