Life and trauma

@Former-Member I know its hard, but try not to be in too much of a rush.... that time feels so much more precious the more limited it is.

@Former-Member I in no way am trying to diminish how hard it can be and how it must be pushing you to limits you probably thought you had already reached.

I remember quite a while back reading something along the lines of "Dont blame yourself... blame those who made you feel it was your fault!" I didn't really think much about it at the time and thought of it as a nice thought but it didnt apply to me as I just wasn't ready to think another way. Then you go through a time where it feels like nothing but bad news after bad news and told that time which didnt hold much value, was now very limited and it felt so much more valuable and that quote now made a lot more sense.

I started to realise that the reason i did keep struggling and fighting was because on some level, some part of me knew that the time i had was so precious. It helped me to start to reach out to people about how i was struggling and slowly started to change the way i thought about myself. To be perfectly honest, i highly doubt i would have changed that much without being told the time I had and didnt care too much about was now a lot less.

So im not saying you should feel different or you should change how you feel or youre doing anything wrong... just that things can change very unexpectantly and allow us to see things about ourselves we never saw before. So fighting is important to keep us going until we can see that hope, or someone helps us to see it.

So when there feels like rhere is no reason to fight, fight harder because the reason sometimes is just to keep going until we can find that hope, especially when its been many years since we've felt it.

So for now, while yiu are dealing with so much and struggling do hard, just keep doing what youre doing here.... reaching out, sharing your thoughts, providing kind words to others, and little by little you will start to see changes. You just dont seem like the sort of person who gives up easilly... ot at all! So i honestly think those changes will start to come. You've found a great place here to help you do it.

@Former-Member I know how hard it is for you right now. Try not to feel guilty, you are dealing with such a lot but fighting so hard! Just know that you have people here who want you to get through as well. Its not a fight you have to fight completely alone now.

@Former-Member I'm sorry its such a difficult night for you. Have you made the call already? If you feel yourself slipping then you're right to call them. Your safety is the priority obviously.

@Former-MemberHow are you doing right now?

@MJG017 not good. I'm not in a good way right now.