unfounded jealously

Hi @outofmydepth,

Welcome to the Forums! I'm Shimmer, one of the moderators here

Wow, it sounds like things have gotten really tough for you in the last few weeks. I imagine that such a dramatic change in your partner from kind, loving and trusting, to suspicious of you and moving out, would make you feel so lost, confused and distressed! Especially since his ideas are not connected to reality, as you have not done the things he believes you have, yet he is treating you as if you have and not listening to your story. Do you know if he has ever had periods in the past where he has had strong suspicious beliefs?

Good on you for joining the Forums to get some ideas about how to get help. I'm curious, do you have any thoughts about what you/he might need? It is so difficult when someone doesn't recognise that they have a problem even though they are significantly affecting others in their lives.

One type of resource I thought your might find helpful are carers' helplines, which support partners/families/friends of people who may be experiencing mental health issues, both with how to support the person, and how to look after yourself. Here are a couple of services:

Carers Australia: 1800 242 636

Mental Health Carers Australia (formerly ARAFMI National): 1300 554 660

Feel free to share more of your story @outofmydepth.

Take care,

Shimmer

Hi @outofmydepth

I just wanted to check in to see how things are travelling now?

I hope things have smoothed out with your partner.

Nik

I really dont know what to do, nothing has changed.

He has moved out, we dont really communicate, he really thinks I have done all these things

He doesn't think he has a problem so wont seek help .

Im up and down, cant see a way to get this sorted

A bit unusual, we had been together for about a year, but for 5 months of that I was overseas and we didnt see each other, was only in contact by email as internet was not available where I was.

Things still the same, still thinks I have been or still am having affairs

Hi @outofmydepth

It sounds like they are sabotaging the relationship (whether they are aware of it or not) and it's really unfair on you.

You might find this thread on healthy relationships helpful to get some perspective. Sometimes we can get so swept up in a situation that we can't see what we deserve as human beings - how we deserve to be treated - what's okay and what's not.

If it's of any help, you are not the only one who has experienced a loved one pushing them away. @theo-ran shared their experience here and @M_Wendy talked about being pushed away here

You deseve to be trusted and not bear the brunt of this.

Are you still in regular contact?